Monday, January 31, 2011

Real Housewives of Atlanta Finale: Um, Couple Things

All season long, every time I see Peter (Cynthia's man), I have this nagging feeling like he looks like someone but I just couldn't put my stinger on it.  So then I'm sittin' there watching the wedding scene and it hit me like a ton of Suzuki motorcycles. He looks like a grown DMX (rapper from the 90s).  AmIRite or AmIRite??? Sorry I don't have the energy to do a side by side comparison.  Please use your imagination or do a Google Images search.

Raugh Raugh

Wonder if Cynthia was mad that Princess Derek J stole her thunder at the wedding with that smart Virgina Slims pantsuit he had going on.  We see what you did there Miss J.

Time to watch some Kim n Kroy WWHL...

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Will Some of the Jersey Shore Cast Appear on SNL Tonight?

Seems like something may be up.  A one Mr. Vinny Guadagnino just tweeted:

But little Miss Snooki's tweets lead us to believe that she's not in that area, promoting a club appearance.

So, shall we make another prediction?  We HAVE been on a major roll lately.... We think Vinny will appear, maybe with Ronnie, perhaps even Pauly D?

We'll have to wait and see...

Update: Didn't happen.  We wouldn't be surprised if it was cut?  Here's Vin's official word on it:

Mmm hmmmm.  We see what you did there Vinny.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Oprah Secret is out!

Check out our UPDATED POST for the answer..........  Man, we're good.

It's Official, Chelsea Confirms To Newsweek that She's Dating 50 Cent

The story just came out.  Here's the quote from Newsweek:

(She confirms to NEWSWEEK that she’s now dating 50 Cent, a.k.a. Curtis Jackson, saying that “he’s sweet and not a thug.”)

We still thought it might be fake even when they did THIS  last month.....

Source: Chelsea's Twitter

......but we just may be convinced now.

Ooo la la.... we shall call them Chertis. Come to think of it, kinda sounds like a diarrhea euphemism, we're keepin' it.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Derek J Has The Sads

We don't like it when our favorite diva is down.  Derek J (of Real Housewives of Atlanta and Good Hair and World Renowned Hair Artiste and Thick Stems And 'Lettos fame ) has a case of the sads today and we're calling out whoever is messin' with our precious scoop of pudding.

Hrmph. Kim, he better not be talkin' bout you.

Here's our lady of ferocity in happier times. Nobody can work an opaque tight like Mr. J.

Source: Derek J's Twitter (@DerekJHair)
Feel better boo boo. We got you.

Click here to see our "Moment" with Der Der and Kimmy Z

Is Kim Kardashian Already Thinking Babies With Kris Humphries?

It was only last week that Kim Kardashian "officially" admitted to dating NBA star Kris Humphries, on our girl Wendy Williams' show.

Then late Saturday nightm the reality phenom Twittered the following picture, proclaiming:  "I want my son to look like this!"

That kid looks a whole lot like Kris Humphries, so you do the math.  We see what you did there Kim. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Jersey Shore: What Happened With Vinny and Ryder? Snooki Explains

Vinooki invites you in...
Source: Snooki's Twitter photos via Plixi
So, have we mentioned how obsessed we are with Jersey Shore Dailies?   Jersey Shore Dailies are basically mundane Jersey Shore scrap clips from the editing room floor that are barfed onto the web with some ads (that are nearly as long as the clips themselves) so MTV can squeeze every last ounce of blood from a stone. And guess what? We return each day like salivating Pavlovian dogs, pressing the refresh button in hopes for more treats.

Anyhoo, our persistence in culling these hidden treasures has finally paid off (if paying off means making no money, nobody caring and us getting fatter from inactivity).  We've finally unearthed the diamond in the rough unlocking the mysteries of the Vinny/Ryder Hook Up (AKA VinDerGate 2010).  Pauly D. provides much needed comic relief as Snooki and Vinny have an intense discussion that will leave nary a droy oye in da howse:

Did we learn anything new? Kind of.  Snooki says Ryder will be visiting the Shore house in two weeks for her birthday (so our PREDICTION that Ryder will make another appearance this season is panning out quite well, but we selfishly digress) which leads to the long-awaited exchange.  Here's what we've pieced together:
  1. Sometime between Season 2 and Season 3, Vinny and Ryder hooked up IN SNOOKI'S HOUSE!
  2. Vinny and Ryder were hooking up in Snooki's bed until Snooki walked in and saw "ass" and Ryder's "kuka" at which point they (VinDer) ran into the bathroom and wouldn't come out despite Snooki's questioning
  3. At some point in the past, prior to VinDerGate 2010, Snooki hooked up with Vinny's cousin. We are not clear if this is the "making out" or "sex" kind of "hooking up" as these two definitions are interchangeable in Guido lexicon
  4. At some point after VinDerGate 2010, Snooki, heartbroken, ran back into the arms of Vinny's cousin  
  5. Points #3 and #4 make up the foundation of The Great Vinny Defense of 2010:  a loophole in the "sex with the best friend" betrayal by means of a contrived diversion.  In TGVD2010, the perp plays up to the victim's ego by feigning sadness from an unrelated incident [which is unrelated because a) the first time was before Snooks and Vin hooked up b) the second was after he did it with her best friend and c) because Vinny really couldn't care less - you can see it in his sh1t-eating grin. Amirite or amirite?].  We see what you did there Vinny. Well played. 
P.S.  How crazy was the incessant fan-screaming from the Bennys on the streets?   It's raw footage like this that pierces the veil between MTV fantasy and the zoolike reality AKA don't be fooled, these aren't just some normal kids in Seaside anymoah.   But we do have a new-found respect for the MTV editors that have skillfully masked the issue with close ups and audio trickery.  We see what you did there MTV.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Oprah's Big Family Secret? Our Predictions - UPDATED WITH ANSWER

UPDATED 1/24/11 (morning) So, we were right! Our #1 prediction is the truth that was revealed by Oprah today.  She has a half sister she never knew about.  Her mother gave birth to a child when Oprah was 9 (and living with her father) that was eventually given up for adoption.  Oprah reunites with her half-sister, Patricia, today on the show.  Man, we're good.  Congrats Oprah! 

More like whOa

So we're getting ready for the weekend (AKA sitting on our butts, mentally preparing our snacks and TV lineup).  THEN - out of the blue, the Big O herself says something HUGE in a show teaser.  She's going to a) drop a big bomb on us Monday by revealing a family secret she's been keeping for months; and b) have some sort of on-air reunion!

We've never wanted a Monday to come so fast.  What could the secret be????  Since we're on a roll with our predictions (granted Oprah and Jersey Shore are a bit apples and orange people), we're going to venture some guesses on this one.

These have absolutely no basis - pure conjecture - but we'll believe in our own psychic powers if we get anything even remotely right.  Here are our three guesses:
  1. Maybe Oprah has a long lost sibling she never knew about - until now 
  2. Perhaps Stedman has a long lost child he didn't know about until recently
  3. Or, what if Oprah brings her mom onto the show (Oprah has said they are not close at all - Oprah was not really raised by her mother for very long) to discuss things about Oprah's childhood that Oprah never knew????
Quick Update (1/21, evening time): We'd like to make a bonus prediction #4.  Given that genealogy and ancestry DNA testing are such a big trend these days, we also wouldn't be surprised if Oprah got a test and it revealed something shocking e.g. someone else famous she is related to.  Some folks on other sites are wondering if it may even be Maya Angelou she's related to.  

So there you have it. We'll circle back on this one Monday to see how we did.

Oh yea, and email us your predictions ( - if you get it right, we may name you in our update post after the secret is revealed next week.

Update (1/22 evening time): Keep the predictions coming!!!!  We got a bunch at first and now.. crickets! Is that all you got???

P.S. Here's the post on our Jersey Shore predictions that are beginning to come true:

Our Jersey Shore Predictions Coming True

So in our 1/6 post (Did Sam and Ron Just Break Up For the Millionth Time), we told you that JWOWW looked like she had her lips done, well - on tonight's Jersey Shore After Show, it appeared to be we may have been onto something there.

In our 1/13 post (Jersey Shore Fringe Characters, Where Are They Now), we predicted that Pauly's Israeli stalker would likely make an appearance this season, and that came true earlier this week in the bonus Monday 1/17 episode.

In that same post, we also predicted that Ryder would come by this season.  That also looks promising given that in tonight's (1/20) episode, Snooki was shown talking to Ryder on the phone discussing a visit.

Wondering if Jay 420 and Joey Yanks will also be shown, as we predicted.  We feel like that one may be on shaky ground given some of Jay 420's tweets about MTV not approving of his lifestyle.  Hmmmmmm.

PATsy Nation is on point!

We're still recovering from this phenomenal night of TV - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion, Watch What Happens Live, Jersey Shore AND Jersey Shore After Show.  HEAVEN!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

What? Of The Day - Hollywood Age Differences You May Not Have Noticed

Everyone is all up in everyone else's business when it comes to cougars and cradle robbers.  But what about Hollywood pulling the old "age bait and switch" on us?

Actors and actresses regularly star in roles portraying characters in different age brackets than their "real" selves (and we're not talking about flashback or flash forward sequences).

Chew on this:

  • Stockard Channing was 34 years old when she played 17/18 year-old Rizzo in Grease.  Jeff Conaway was 28 playing a 17/18 year old Kanecki 
  • Ian Ziering and Gabrielle Carteris played 15/16 year olds on Beverly Hills 90210 when their real ages were 26 and 29 (respectively)
  • Sara Gilbert played a 10 or 11 year old on Roseanne when she was really 13 (a big difference at such a young age)
  • Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segel currently portray a couple that is the same age (they started college in 1996 so 32ish) on How I Met Your Mother, but in reality they have a 6 year age difference.  She is 37 and he is 31.
  • Lisa Kudrow was almost 30 when she began playing Phoebe Buffay (a woman in her early 20s) on Friends
  • On the Golden Girls, Estelle Getty was 69 when she starred as the 86 year old Sophia Petrillo
  • Henry Winkler played 17 year old Arthur Fonzarelli on Happy Days when he was actually 29 in real life
  • Tom Welling was 24 when he began playing 15 year old Superman on Smallville

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Douchiest Talk Show Entrance Ever - Shemar Moore on The Talk

Our jaw dropped when we watched this.  At first we thought it was just us, since we're so judgey, but Leah Remini can't hide her disdain either. After you watch the minute-long entrance, jump to 3:00 to watch Leah finally lose it.

P.S. Although Shemar is straight up Masengil, we don't condone slapping.  Leah, you should take notes on Whoopi when The View has a guest she can't stand.  She usually just clams up and refuses to talk.

Seth Rogen disses Adrienne Maloof?

So Seth Rogen was on The Ellen Degeneres Show today regaling Ellen with his awe inspiring stories (insert sarcasm here) when he got to an interesting tidbit that caught our attention.  Seth was telling Ellen that he watches a lot of reality TV including all the Housewives shows, and that he met one of them at the recent Green Hornet premiere.  When Ellen asked "which one?" Seth said "the one with all the plastic surgery on her face."  Everyone had a good chuckle and that was that.

BUT - synapses started firing here at PATsy Central and we remembered something.  A photo Adrienne Maloof twatted out last week:

@AdrienneMaloof: With Seth Rogan at the Green Hornet party. No the flash isn't broken, it really is that green in here! 

Mmmm hmmmm, we see what you did there Seth.  We take it you won't be staying at the Palms Casino anytime soon?

For the record, we think Adrienne is fierce and gorgeous.

Separated at Birth? Robin Meade, Katy Mixon, Mary Murphy (and a little Marie Osmond)

Am I taking crazy pills or are all four of these women cut from the exact same cloth?

A: Robin Meade, CNN Headline News (Morning Show)
B: Mary Murphy, So You Think You Can Dance
C: Marie Osmond [Of THE OSMOND FAMILY, too many credits to list]
D: Katy Mixon, Eastbound and Down, Mike and Molly

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Details Leaked By Wendy Williams

So, I'm flipping channels and stumble upon my girl Wendy "How you doin?" Williams (P.S. somewhere Joey Tribbiani just gave the side eye) - anyways,she was in the middle of Hawt Tawpics and begins dropping some gossip on the RHOBH reunion that was recently filmed. 

Wendy says the reunion is going to be extra juicy (meanwhile, how does she know this and how can I be down?)  and here are the alleged deets:
  • Don't expect Kyle Richards and Camille Grammer to patch things up
  • Kyle called Camille crazy and criticized her for dissing her friend Faye Resnick
  • Camille let Kyle have it calling her delusional and irrational
  • Kyle's and Kim Richards start fighting at the reunion
  • We learn that Lisa has kicked her house guest Cedric out
  • In the meantime Cedric is allegedly walking around Hollywood blasting Lisa and her husband and their lifestyle
  • In the end, everyone ends up in tears except for Camille
Okay, some of this doesn't surporse me but are you kidding that everyone BUT Camille ends up in tears? In my mind I imagined Camille on one couch and all the other gals across just letting her have it!!!! 

And what about this Cedric revelation? Oy, I can't wait for this all to go down.  Not sure when it airs because we still have a couple episodes to get through.

Update: Looks like we tracked down the possible source, Ted Casablanca's EOnline column

For more RHOBH, check out: Real Blogging - RHOBH Dinner From Hell Episode 

Jersey Shore's Fringe Characters - Where Are They Now? Israeli Stalker, Jay 420, Joey Yanks, Ryder & Uncle Nino


It's Jersday bitches.

Ok - so JWOWW, Snooki, DJ Pauly D, The Situation, Sammi Sweetheart and Ronnie (oh yea, and I guess Angelina/Deena) have captured our black hearts and infiltrated American zeitgeist.  But there's more to Jersey Shore than this beef jerky bunch. 

A much broader cast of "characters" completes the Jersey Shore "world."

Oh boy, hold on, let me take another sip of pink chablis before my last shred of dignity is ... oh wait, nope nothing left there. So let's get to it.

Twitter Handle:

Who is she?
Ryder is Snooki's "best friend."  She has made appearances in Season 1 & 2 (so far) visiting Snooki.  You can tell these two are REALLY friends (ahem Deena ahem) by their like mannerisms and inside jokes. When they're together, Snooki comes off looking like the "smart one" which speaks volumes.  Together, they like to party, goof off, speak in their own distinct language (like all good Guidos/Guidettes do), finish each other's sentences and make JWOWW feel like an outcast. 

Anything else we should know?
In Episode 1 Season 3, Snooki confronts her crush, Vinny (as they stew in the hot tub - awwwkward) about sleeping with Ryder two weeks earlier and the two have a weird moment.  It seems as if Snooki may have even implied that the two had some booty sex, but it was hard to tell from all the bleeping.  Also, in a bonus Jersey Shore Daily clip, after Snooki leaves the hot tub, Vinny tells JWOWW that Snooki hooked up with his cousin two weeks before he hooked up with Ryder, but this part of the story is not as well known (you know, since most people have lives and don't constantly refresh their browsers for new Jersey Shore Dailies).

What's she up to now?
Ryder is apparently feeling the heat from Snooki supporters. The morning after the episode aired, she tweeted "if only i had a dollar for the amount of times people called me a whore last night."  The following day (1/8), she went on "@Ryder__ Loves that everyone is hating when they have no idea what they are talking about. @Sn00ki is my best friend and will always be."

Will she make an appearance this season?
Purely conjecture at this point but we think we'll be seeing more of Ryder this season. So there's that.

Jay 420 & Joey Yanks
Twitter Handles: &
Meet JWoww's Mysterious Friend Jay 420
JWOWW and Jay 420

Joey Yanks Cocco
Joey Yanks?
Who are they?
These guys are JWOWW's friends from Long Island.  How do we know about them?  During a fight between JWOWW and Angelina in Season 2 Miami, JWOWW accuses Angelina of talking behind her back between Seasons 1 and 2 only to have Angelina deny deny deny then ask "Says who?"  It was at this moment that the most beatiful names in the history of reality television were uttered - Jay 420 and Joey Yanks - prompting millions of next-day water cooler conversations "Who are these fellas?"

Yeah so?
People were perplexed and intrigued by these elusive Guidos who never appeared on screen, yet had such an impact on the unfolding story.  Thankfully, Tracie from did some digging and got to the bottom of the Jay 420 mystery [AKA she stalked his life on Facebook and MySpace].  Tracie eventually got to meet  Jay 420and did a hilarious on-camera interview with him.

Ok, now I'm interested, got anything else on them?

Oh yeah.  Upon further digging we came upon a glorious little nugget: a YouTube video of these classy cats guys and bonus new guy Johnny Shine in Seaside Heights.  The video was taken during the same time period as filming of Season 3 (in August 2010).  In the video, the three  gentlemen have just arrived in Seaside and are right next to the Shore house. They show the mayhem outside the shore house and describe the long "loyne" outside the T-shirt shop where the JS cast works.  But, as Jay 420 put it, they didn't have to wait in the loyne since they're "VIP, Jenni came running out the store jumpin' on us."   Then they play a FOR REAL boardwalk carnival game called "Shoot the Guido" where they have to shoot at a dummy made to look like Snooki on it. Heh. Bennies.

Why didn't you embed the video here (you idiot)?
Get off me.  The reason is this - it's pretty disgusting and quickly devolves into lots of pooping (a segment they call "the Shit Shore") and snot and um, ew just gross.  We kind of watched it 15 times and then shame showered.  Can we  just give you the link and not speak of this again? P.S. watch at your own risk and don't blame us when you hurl.

Will we see them in the show this season?
Outlook seems very good. In the video, the threesome proclaim they will be going out with the crew later in the evening. The clip then picks back up with the three hungover lads getting back in the car to leave the next morning.  They had to have signed Non Disclosure Agreements so they obvs couldn't show/say anything else that would cross the MTV Gods. 

What's going on with them today?
These days one can find Dr. Jay 420 on Twitter, riding JWOWW's coat tails and claiming he promotes "some of the hottest clubs in NYC."  Interestingly, he also seems to be chummy with JWOWW's ex, Tom (who is currently embroiled in a lawsuit with Jenni AND trying to sell nude pics of her to the highest-bidding trashy publication.) Joey Yanks? Still Tbd.

Danielle the Israeli Stalker

Who is she?
The case of Danielle the Israeli stalker is a curious one.  In the first season, we find her briefly dating Pauly - trying to convince him to go to the Holy Land, and then, as he puts it "stalk my life on the boardwalk."   Danielle calls the house (via duck phone) about 11 times one night looking for Pauly after the infamous boardwalk incident.  The next morning he tells her to buzz off.

Was that it?
In a bizarre twist, the two run into one another in the club that night and Pauly leaves with her, leading us to believe there was more to the story.  So much for sticking to his guns. In the Jersey Shore Season 1 Reunion, Pauly reveals that Danielle later stalked his life in Rhode Island one night while he was DJ'ing in a club. 

Got anything else on her?
Glad you asked.  The plot thickens.  There IS a whole other side to this story.
An (alleged) interview with Danielle on the site purports that MTV may have omitted some criticial plot elements.  In the interview, she reveals:

We knew each other more than 2 days. They switch it all up... He [Pauly] was complimenting me on how pretty I was and telling me his last name would be mine and telling people I am his girl and all the crap in the would came out of his mouth. And that day on the boardwalk when I “stalked his whole life,” he came to my store and I wasn’t there. Then he saw me on the boardwalk and he gave me an Italian bracelet with my name on it. He labeled me and he said don’t say I never gave you something. So as a JOKE, I made that shirt in my store, labeling him and told him, don’t say I never gave you something... And at the end in the club, I wasn’t like there. I was with a group of people and  me and him (Pauly) talk and he told me that he didn’t stop thinking of me and all that, that he liked me at the end after all the crap that he talked.  

Does she say anything in the article about stalking Pauly's life in Rhode Island?
Yes. This is what Danielle reportedly said:

We got in an argument and I said some hurtful stuff to him and he got mad and I tried to apologize and all and I felt really bad. My two friends I was with said let’s go to Rhode Island to surprise him and say you’re sorry. As crazy as it is, we did drive there. He was DJing in a small lounge and it was practically empty and with an older crowd. I got there and he said he didn’t pay attention to me when I was there. There’s lie No. 2. He got out of the DJ place and he let his friend DJ, DJ Freezy. We went outside to talk and we talked about 30 minutes and he told me he didn’t want it to end and all that. We went inside and sat with my friends for like an hour or so and then we were saying goodbye to him and he grabbed me and kissed me over there and told me to come Sunday to see him for the week and we will hang out and all the usual crap that comes out of his mouth. I’m on my way to Seaside with my friends and he texts me, you shoulda stayed, I miss you, I wanna see you, did you get home?, up to like 5 o’clock in the morning and he texted me the day after and all so to make himself look good on TV again, he lied which I think he is getting really good at it.

Do we believe this article?   
Seems plausible, but in another story about Danielle at the writer speaks to Danielle's (devastated) mom who says that the girl ran off to Israel after the Jersey Shore episode because she was so humiliated by her highly-edited portrayal. 

What to believe? Who knows.

Will we see her again this season?
Apparently Danielle work(ed?) at a fashion shop on the boardwalk.  There are some rumors swirling that Danielle will be back this season (fingers crossed) so we'll have to wait and see.

UPDATE 1/18: We were right!!! Danielle appeared in the 1/17/10 episode! Our forensics don't lie. You're welcome. 

UPDATE 2/4: Danielle also appeared in a second episode in Season 3 which aired 2/3.  A couple new developments from this episode added to our suspicions that there's more to the story than meets the eye (AKA Pauly D. reciprocated Danielle's feelings more than we were lead to believe): 1) Pauly invited Danielle back to the house after running into her at the club, and 2) Pauly still had the "I Love Isareli Girls" t-shirt Danielle gave to him.  Somethin's fishy at the Showah.... We see what you did there Pauly...

Uncle Nino
Twitter Handle:
Uncle Nino Giaimo

Who is he?
Uncle Nino is Vinny's "old school Italian" uncle (on his mother's side).  He came down with the rest of Vin's family to visit him in Miami. 

Nino likes the ladies and quickly hopped in the jacuzzi with the housemates soon after arriving in Miami.  Basically, he's the old guy at the club. He's also loud, boisterous and grunt/talks like his mouth is full of marbles.  You can pick up on every third word he barfs out of his piehole and then sort of piece together the meaning of what he's trying to say. 

What's he been up to?
People love characters and Uncle Nino is no exception. He has picked up quite the following since his Miami appearance.  Vinny has featured him in some homemade videos. Nino even started a Twitter which has quickly grown to 15k plus.  It even looks like he's picked up some representation  - you can book this "Original Guido" (as he calls himself) for your next event.  Milk it Nino, we ain't mad atcha.

Here's Uncle Nino at a club appearance:

He's also in a cheesy Staten Island used car buyer commercial. You can find that and other Uncle Nino vidoes on the same YouTube channel as the video above.

Think he'll be on Season 3?
This one is hardest to predict.  On the one hand, MTV knows how to jump on growing popularity to exploit it for all it's worth.  But, who knows if Season 3 (love/fight etc...) plot lines leave room for family stuff?

More Jersey Shore: Jersey Fashion Time Warp; Snooki's Bizarre YouTube Videos; Ronnie and Sammi Break Up

Got more info? Email us at

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Watching Lo Bosworth's UStream - Boooooooooring

As we speak.... She's promoting some new book in a live UStream chat.. (don't judge me, I'm bored so I logged in.  This is what inclement weather does to us).  Back to the subject at hand.  Yes, Lo Bosworth, fringe 3rd string character from The Hills has a book out.  We see what you did there Lo.
Anyhoozles, she just got through a round of boring book-related AKA obvious publicist selected/planted quesitons.  So obvs I tuned out. 

I tuned back in at this point (slight paraphrasing in answers because as I typed what she said, my fingers tried to enact a civil war against my brain for putting them thorough this atrocity):

Do you still talk to people from Laguna Beach/Hills?

Yes I live with Lauren.  Stephanie is one of my really close friends....  

[Blah Blah Blah nothing good here]

Did you secretly think your friends on The Hills wore too much makeup?

On the show, I dont think so... we didn't have hair and makup teams on the show. We did it all ourselves.  We were not as cute in older seasons. We'd watch the show and realize 'I need to wear...more makeup'. So no, I dont think they wear too much makeup. No.

[WOW, I can't believe I was still paying attention at this point]

What other projects are you working on?
I have another potentional book in the works.  I am actualy producing a new show that will be on TV this ear.  I'll be on TV in a new way, not reality television

Oh lord Lo, if your TV show is even 1% as boring as this crapfest I just can't. I can't even.

Meh. Meh. Meh. What a let down. If you want to sell books, we need to hear about Audrina, Speidi, Lauren, your breakup etc. etc... . Girlfriend really need to take a page out of the Snooki manual.  Snooks is giving 11 year olds Snooki makeovers, throwing cast mates under the bus etc. etc.  And now her sh1t is sold out!!

Sorry that this post was so barfy boring by association.  Let's cut the cord while we're ahead.

And scene. 

Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) Reunion - First Look Leaks!

Some fun leaking going on in Twittville today. 

Andy Cohen has had a heck of a time getting to the A.T.L. for the RHOA Reunion.  What with his flight to Atlanta getting cancelled and an icy overnight in Birmingham. He finally boarded a private (looking) plane for the land of the peaches:

Phew! Good thing because the Twitter war between Nene and Kim Zolciak has certainly whet our appetites though [I know I didn't do a story on it, but Jezebel did. Basically Nene was implying Kim was a transvestite and slammed her for having 3 baby daddies - Meanwhile, doesn't Nene have 2?  Not that there's anything wrong with either, but that's a pretty slim margin for the pot to call the kettle black.  Miss Kim actually kept it pretty classy, rebuffing most of Nene's digs.  So there you have it].

Andy is finally safe in snowy Atlanta, and it looks like he's having fun with our BFF Kim  and her hair game cause he leaked this cute pic:

They're on the set of the Reunion as I click these keys. 

Also looks like our other BFF Derek J is now doing Kandi's hair too, because he just Twatted her fierce new look:

Loving the longer hair and highlights guuuurrrrrl!

Back to Kim and Nene. What do you think? Is their latest feud (which appears to erupt in next week's RHOA episode judging from the teaser) all hype? Or is it for real?

Timing seems kind of convenient, but you never know with these two.

Any other info out there? Hit us up at

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Jersey Fashion Time Warp - Snooki Loves Her BeBe Hat

Okay, I have a question -  is New Jersey a safe harbor for late 90s/early 2000s trends? Here's Snooki rocking her favorite RHINESTONE BEBE HAT.

This is not an illusion, she rocks that thing like it's - well I was gonna say 'going out of style' but um... yeah, that would have been true like in 2002.  Gotta admire her gumption.

But seriously - all this BeBe, Ed hardy, acrylic nails business is real confusing.  What in the time warp is going on over there? 

Can somebody please explain this phenomenon to me?

P.S. any other Jersey time warp info/photos, send us an email at

Ronnie and Sammi Break Up - Finally Reported By Mainstream Media Five Days After WE Told You The Same Thing!

Well, well well - what do we have here? 

Via  Andrew H. Walker/ Astrid Stawiarz/ Getty Images
 Story By RAPHAEL CHESTANG , January 11, 2011
Entertainment Tonight Onine reporting on the Sammi/Ronnie break up a full FIVE DAYS after we told you the same thing!!!!!!  But our hard-hitting investigative journalism paid off with a better story  - don't you think PATsy Nation???

Monday, January 10, 2011

Breaking News - Charlie Sheen Being.... Charlie Sheen?

Breaking News:

Radar Online is reporting that Charlie Sheen is in Vegas partying hard with a bunch of porn stars.  Sheen is currently at the Adult Entertainment Expo (which is held adjacent to CES every year - real convenience for the dirty old men - ayoooooooooooooooooooo amirite or amirite?).

In other news, the Earth is round, water is wet, JWOWW has a great right hook and bad knockoffs of hit shows still make for good TV (ahem - Jerseylicious, Cupcake Wars, Skating With the Stars - I'm talking to you).

THANK YOU - Now What Would YOU Like Us To Write About?

Oh hai thaire!!!!!!!  photo via

We here at PAT want to thank you for all of your support - our traffic is growing by leaps and bounds thanks to all the love from each and every one of you. 

There's tons of room to expand our focus and we want to make sure you're getting everything YOU want!!

Please drop us a line (via email at and let us know what types of subject-matter you'd like us to focus on in future posts. 

In fact, we can promise you that if you leave a (legitimate) comment this week, you will receive a personal response from us.  We hope to spark a back and forth dialogue and can't wait to hear more about who exactly our readership is!

Ugh sorry for all this bland customer service speak.  Here's something to enjoy because it will never get old as far as we're concerned: (soon-to-be) Incarcerated Snooki will see you out. 

image via

Snooki's Bizarre Youtube Videos

Last night, I finally finished reading the Internet.

Or so I thought.

All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, a new tweet appears in my twit-stream from a one little meatball Snooki.  She proclaims that she has added some videos to her new network.  Oh you haven't heard of SnookTV? Where have you been????

It's kind of like OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network), but ..... well um. Well, you see.... it's a YouTube channel OKAY??? You happy now?  A media empire doesn't happen overnight people.  You'll see. You'll all see....

SnookTV offers some high-quality one-woman avant garde dance sequences ....  You can really see how the movement represents the solitary beauty of  the world - so simple, yet so complicated. So pure, yet so orange.... 

She also does these in duet format with a gentleman who isn't her current  boyfriend Jionni (I don't think) but is described as "Heat."  Perhaps an old flame??? 

I gotta say watching this one creeped me out and warmed my heart all at the same time.  Like, it's kinda cute when a couple dorks out together, but if you look closely, very closely you can see the famewhore monster lurking behind dude's eyes.  And for a brief moment, you want to hug little meatball Snooki, coddle her and protect her from the harsh realities of the world.

And finally, Snooki spills her guts out to us about what it's like to be Snooki - nay - Nicole Polizzi:

Wow, deep.  Really gives you a whole lot to think about. 

Someday maybe SnookTV will replace one of the Discovery Channels so that it may continue fulfilling its mission to enlighten the world.   

P.S. here's a bonus "rambling" video. Forget the content, there are two supporting actors in the background that caught my eye. Mr. Four Loko and Mrs. Four Loko.  Heyyyyyyy.

In one of the most recent videos, Snooki did some hard-hitting undercover journalism with JWOWW, under the monikers of Nancy and Flow.... wherein she "attacked "  (in her words via the Twitter entry above)  someone who ended up being Joy Behar.  In it, Snooki basically pretends she's Joy hating on the Jersey Shore kids and blaming guidos for ruining her childhood. Um, hi - since when is Snooki a Hasslebeck???  Unfortunately for us, that video was taken down a few hours later.    Perhaps a MTV PR intervention?

UPDATE: Looks Like PerezHilton has the Nancy and Flow video up on his web site. 

For more Jersey Shore antics, check out:

Did Sammi and Ronnie Just Break Up Again?

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Don't Be Jealous. I had a "Moment" with Kim Zolciak and Derek J. - FABULOUS!!

Kim Zolciak's lazy fabulousness and Derek J's (of RHOA and Good Hair fame - if you haven't seen Derek's swag in Good Hair, go rent it immediately) unapologetic fiercenes are two bulls in the china shop of Real Housewives.  And that's why they're my favorites. 

Do I usually laugh at minions begging for celebrity ReTweets like London-town street urchins? Yes, yes I do. 

Did I have a moment(s - pluralizing because I do it all the time, I just like to judge others with my holier than thou self) of gushing pandering in hopes of acknowledgement? Why yes, yes I did:


Um... yeah, so then this happened!!!!!:

Holy Sh1t, holy sh1t, the tweet did mean a thing.......

And if my heart didn't stop long enough. Then THIS HAPPENED!!!


For more RHOA ridiculousness, check out Real Housewives of Atlanta - I'm Getting Lazy and
RHOA Rundown - Check You and Um Hi You - Andy Cohen - Can We Twalk?

AND - don't forget to follow me on Twitter @payattentionto

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Too. Excited. To. [FILL IN BLANK, breathe, work, eat, talk shit etc. etc.] Jersey Shore 3 & RHOBH Tonight!!!

I'm having a full on Jessie Spano moment right now - I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so so scaaaaareed!!! 

I've been waiting weeks - nay months - nay, my whole life for this.  Jersey Shore is finally back for a third season that promises to be EPIC (<---- read that like annoying frat douche, that's the emphasis I need you to put on the word epic to really grasp the meaning of the sentence).  PLUS, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills back tonight after a mini-hiatus. 

image via NO I'M NOT KIDDING
GIGGY HAS A WEB SITE. I'm excited and
scared all over again. BRB, going to make pocorn and
devour the site in its entirety.
By the by, RHOBH is on at 9 tonight - assumingly b/c Bravo is scurred of JS3. As well they should be.  But phew, we really dodged a Sophie's Choice bullet there. I mean amirite or amirite?

Oh, and part two, who else heard that the RHOBH reunion that was just filmed a couple days ago was also crazy epic (<-- again, Sig Ep douche circa 2002 voice, give it all you got)??? Supposably Camille has since said she's quttin that shit.  I mean come on, we all know she was probably hated on for 3 hours straight on some Bravo rented couch at Villa Blanca for the reunion so, yeah there's that. But I really think we need to petition to bring her back.  That show would be surriously burring without her. (sorry for all the urrrr's replacing the middles of real words. that's the mood I'm in.  You know, the kind of mood where you run around telling everyone you're gettin' your hurrr did, and then take it too far with every other word?  And no, I'm not even getting my hurr did but.... minor details).

Um, hi, by the way why was I the last to find out that Camille was (allegedly) a rent-a-woman for like the Sultan of Brunei or something like that?  It's actually on her Wikipedia page (ugh too lazy to find link - stop being such a sloth and Google it).  Dang I missed class that day.  And here I am posing as a  media mogul over here.  Shame on me.

 P.S. I hear Snooki's getting a big-head (ha! just realized the irony of the sentence, but I'm talking figuratively) with all this fame.  Exhibit A: she only wants to be called Nicole now since she's a serious published author. Exhibit B: she was on Access Hollywood Live hating on The Situation and the fact that he did Dancing With The Stars becuase the show is for has beens.  Eekk Snoozi I was really routing for ya, but I don't know anymore. Once someone gets the humble knocked out of them, we're pretty much all gonna drink the haterade.  G'luck sneezy. 

Jailbird Snooki will see you out now.

image via

Did Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie Just Break Up for the Millionth Time?

[PSST: Want More Low Down on Jersey Shore Favorites? Check Out: Snooki's Bizarre YouTube Videos; What's Up With Jersey Fashion?]

For an October 2011 Update on Ron and Sam - Check Out Our Story Update Here

Who can keep up with the rocky relationship of Jersey Shore's Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and her loverboy Ronnie Magro? (Apparently she can't even keep up with him from the looks of the pic above - ugh has anyone ever had a boyfriend who walked ahead of you like this? Red flag. Red flag.) Surely they have carpal tunnel syndrome by now from making endless Facebook relationship status flip-flops.

Well, it seems like they've just broken up again. Here's the bloody trail of evidence:

Chapter 1. Twitter

Just up until around New Year's Eve RoSam seemed to be on again and quite happy as any religous follower of their Twitter accounts could attest to.

Sammi even tweeted this picture on January 3:

@MTVSammi: New years eve in times square was sickkk this year! :) @MTVRonnie
Everything was right and in it's place and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Phew!!!

But ...


January 4th came. Somewhere in Siberia a butterfly fluttered its wings.

This seemingly innocent act would set off a vicious chain of events ending halfway across the world. And just like that, as the world slept, temperatures plummeted in Hazlet, NJ and the Bronx, NY (the hometowns of our modern day Ms. Capulet and Mr. Montague).

At approximately 1:36 AM eastern time (pacific time shown below - and please read this in a daunting Dateline voiceover voice), Ronnie posted this on his Twitter:

Later that afternoon, as Sammi awoke from her daily 23 hour cocooned slumber, she shot off with:

What was going on? Any seasoned anthropological researcher of Jersey Shore (that's what we all call ourselves to feel just a little bit better about our unhealthy obsessions right?) can tell you, these two aren't subtle when it comes to their emotions, especially when it comes to breaking up.

BUT MTV keeps a tight leash on these carnies when it comes to revealing modern day truths. Thusly, they are relegated to "blinking in code."

Like that of DaVinci, the code of a Guido is not easily cracked. It took a legion of MTV publicists working round the clock, but they were able to construct a cipher that would reveal the true meaning of the Guido words. Either that or MTV was downwind and they smelled some Jersey farts.

Damage control ensued as Sammi quickly deleted an original follow-up post that said something to the effect of "everything happens for a reason."

Ronnie also re-surfaced blowing off his previous tweet:

But the reconnaisance isn't working. We cannot unknow that which is known. RoSam is no longer....this week.

UPDATE BREAKING NEWS AT 8:34 EASTERN TIME (1/6): Ronnie is no longer following Sammi on Twitter (though he was earlier today). Hate to say I told you so but I have a really smug look on my face soo....... Anyway, story developing.

UPDATE 1/8: More confirmation that it's over.

  1. Sammi is no longer following Ronnie on Twitter.
  2. Also Ronnie is doing more blinking in code by letting his "ReTweets" speak for him (AKA this way he doesn't have to take responsibility for the quotes and hence get in trouble with MTV. A thinly veiled ploy, but good for us readers). Here are some of them:
There's the "confirmation of Single Ronnie" ReTweets:

There's the flirty ReTweets (kinda like the Twatter version of the middle school jilted lover hallway drama you pulled back in the day when your ex was walking by)

And finally, there's the "shit talking" about Sammi he's so clearly endorsing:

All is relatively quiet in Sammi Twitville.
Sammi - who left L.A. earlier than the other Cast Members (mmm hmmmm, wonder why) perked up early 1/9 to say this:

Meanwhile, incoming: Yes I know I'm a loser and I have no life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.

Chapter 2. GMA
Let's see what happened this morning on GMA when these two had to get together for promotional interviews in advance of the Season 3 premiere tonight.

We all know that during any public appearance, when Sam and Ron are happy and together, they sit side-by-side. So today, what did the seating setup reveal? The two were in DIFFERENT ROWS.

To the un-trained anthropologist (AKA, folks that just started watching in Season 2, or worse yet, last weekend's loopng marathon - ha, NOOBS), it would appear as though this was merely due to the fact that they were assigned to sit by gender. But I call bull-shizz. You know that Sammi probably made her lemon face backstage, getting publicists and managers involved until the seating plans were quickly re-arranged to keep these two apart.

Fast forawrd, halfway through the interview, Robin Roberts AKA the voice of America stood up for the people and.....

.... point blanc asked the boo-some two-some whether they were on or off this particular nano-second.

Here's what they had to say:

"What time is it?" (said Ronnie, looking at his watch, making a joke of their dysfunctional union). He went on to say:

"Me and Sam are working through some stuff right now. We're still talking and we'll see what happens."

If I were to read between those lines, I'd guess that Ronnie was the one who messed up (or got caught) on Jan. 4. Juss sayin.

Sammi also chimed in with:

"I think you should watch the show to really get a feel of how our relationship pans out."

Bitch, we all know the season ended 3 months ago, and we all saw the tabloid shots of you and Ronnie happily leaving Seaside together. That's how that "panned out." Puh-leeze (in my best Danielle Staub voice) that shit's old news.

An HDTV and 50 rewinds later dear Sammi, our expert eyes caught a whisper of tears developing in your eyes as you recited your rehearsed talking points. Yes, yes. That's the Jan 2011 truth right there.

mmm hmmmm, Sammi/Ronnie, we see what you (and the MTV publicists behind you) did there.

Wanna know my next prediction? The two of you will be "back on" by the end of today's endless publicity blitz.

Sure during the first appearance at GMA you were probably staring daggers at each other backstage, but we've all been to a 7th grade dance. Step 2 is for the whispers and the gossiping between the boy and girl cliques, leading up to a confrontation in the bathroom. But alas, these heated exhanges eventually lead to making up. So please accept my "congratulations" in advance.

UPDATE: So I thought they would be back together by now - BUT THEY'RE NOT! However, we've all seen this episode before, so there's THAT.

Got more info? Or Feedback? Send an e-mail to OR Leave a comment below.

Moving on....

Party's heeeeeyaaaaaa If I can get up the energy, I'll try to do some liveblogging for the season premiere. You've sent me a ton of email requests but it's haaarrrrrrddddddddddddd you guyyyyeeeezzzzz. I'll try to carbo-load and we'll take it from there.

UPDATE: didn't happen. Whhoopsie.

P.S. On Regis and Kelly - Reeg referred to Snooki as "Snoozi," which was pretty damn funny. Rest was uneventful, that's all you need to know.

P.P.S. Back to GMA, did anyone else notice that JWOWW's lips looked bigger than usual? Please don't tell me she's doing those dang nasty trout pout injections. Somebody get JWOWW a copy of RHOBH stat!!!! Otherwise, this won't end well.

Hungry for more Jersey Shore? Find out more about the "side characters" that make the show.