For an October 2011 Update on Ron and Sam - Check Out Our Story Update Here
Who can keep up with the rocky relationship of Jersey Shore's Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and her loverboy Ronnie Magro? (Apparently she can't even keep up with him from the looks of the pic above - ugh has anyone ever had a boyfriend who walked ahead of you like this? Red flag. Red flag.) Surely they have carpal tunnel syndrome by now from making endless Facebook relationship status flip-flops.
Well, it seems like they've just broken up again. Here's the bloody trail of evidence:
Chapter 1. Twitter
Just up until around New Year's Eve RoSam seemed to be on again and quite happy as any religous follower of their Twitter accounts could attest to.
Sammi even tweeted this picture on January 3:
|@MTVSammi: New years eve in times square was sickkk this year! :) @MTVRonnie|
January 4th came. Somewhere in Siberia a butterfly fluttered its wings.
This seemingly innocent act would set off a vicious chain of events ending halfway across the world. And just like that, as the world slept, temperatures plummeted in Hazlet, NJ and the Bronx, NY (the hometowns of our modern day Ms. Capulet and Mr. Montague).
At approximately 1:36 AM eastern time (pacific time shown below - and please read this in a daunting Dateline voiceover voice), Ronnie posted this on his Twitter:
Later that afternoon, as Sammi awoke from her daily 23 hour cocooned slumber, she shot off with:
What was going on? Any seasoned anthropological researcher of Jersey Shore (that's what we all call ourselves to feel just a little bit better about our unhealthy obsessions right?) can tell you, these two aren't subtle when it comes to their emotions, especially when it comes to breaking up.
BUT MTV keeps a tight leash on these carnies when it comes to revealing modern day truths. Thusly, they are relegated to "blinking in code."
Like that of DaVinci, the code of a Guido is not easily cracked. It took a legion of MTV publicists working round the clock, but they were able to construct a cipher that would reveal the true meaning of the Guido words. Either that or MTV was downwind and they smelled some Jersey farts.
Damage control ensued as Sammi quickly deleted an original follow-up post that said something to the effect of "everything happens for a reason."
Ronnie also re-surfaced blowing off his previous tweet:
But the reconnaisance isn't working. We cannot unknow that which is known. RoSam is no longer....this week.
UPDATE BREAKING NEWS AT 8:34 EASTERN TIME (1/6): Ronnie is no longer following Sammi on Twitter (though he was earlier today). Hate to say I told you so but I have a really smug look on my face soo....... Anyway, story developing.
UPDATE 1/8: More confirmation that it's over.
- Sammi is no longer following Ronnie on Twitter.
- Also Ronnie is doing more blinking in code by letting his "ReTweets" speak for him (AKA this way he doesn't have to take responsibility for the quotes and hence get in trouble with MTV. A thinly veiled ploy, but good for us readers). Here are some of them:
There's the flirty ReTweets (kinda like the Twatter version of the middle school jilted lover hallway drama you pulled back in the day when your ex was walking by)
And finally, there's the "shit talking" about Sammi he's so clearly endorsing:
Sammi - who left L.A. earlier than the other Cast Members (mmm hmmmm, wonder why) perked up early 1/9 to say this:
Meanwhile, incoming: Yes I know I'm a loser and I have no life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.
Chapter 2. GMA
Let's see what happened this morning on GMA when these two had to get together for promotional interviews in advance of the Season 3 premiere tonight.
We all know that during any public appearance, when Sam and Ron are happy and together, they sit side-by-side. So today, what did the seating setup reveal? The two were in DIFFERENT ROWS.
To the un-trained anthropologist (AKA, folks that just started watching in Season 2, or worse yet, last weekend's loopng marathon - ha, NOOBS), it would appear as though this was merely due to the fact that they were assigned to sit by gender. But I call bull-shizz. You know that Sammi probably made her lemon face backstage, getting publicists and managers involved until the seating plans were quickly re-arranged to keep these two apart.
Fast forawrd, halfway through the interview, Robin Roberts AKA the voice of America stood up for the people and.....
.... point blanc asked the boo-some two-some whether they were on or off this particular nano-second.
Here's what they had to say:
"What time is it?" (said Ronnie, looking at his watch, making a joke of their dysfunctional union). He went on to say:
"Me and Sam are working through some stuff right now. We're still talking and we'll see what happens."
If I were to read between those lines, I'd guess that Ronnie was the one who messed up (or got caught) on Jan. 4. Juss sayin.
Sammi also chimed in with:
"I think you should watch the show to really get a feel of how our relationship pans out."
Bitch, we all know the season ended 3 months ago, and we all saw the tabloid shots of you and Ronnie happily leaving Seaside together. That's how that "panned out." Puh-leeze (in my best Danielle Staub voice) that shit's old news.
An HDTV and 50 rewinds later dear Sammi, our expert eyes caught a whisper of tears developing in your eyes as you recited your rehearsed talking points. Yes, yes. That's the Jan 2011 truth right there.
mmm hmmmm, Sammi/Ronnie, we see what you (and the MTV publicists behind you) did there.
UPDATE: So I thought they would be back together by now - BUT THEY'RE NOT! However, we've all seen this episode before, so there's THAT.
Got more info? Or Feedback? Send an e-mail to PayAttentionToBlog@Gmail.com OR Leave a comment below.
UPDATE: didn't happen. Whhoopsie.
P.S. On Regis and Kelly - Reeg referred to Snooki as "Snoozi," which was pretty damn funny. Rest was uneventful, that's all you need to know.
P.P.S. Back to GMA, did anyone else notice that JWOWW's lips looked bigger than usual? Please don't tell me she's doing those dang nasty trout pout injections. Somebody get JWOWW a copy of RHOBH stat!!!! Otherwise, this won't end well.
Hungry for more Jersey Shore? Find out more about the "side characters" that make the show.