Ok so I don't really know what was up with the 1:15 minute episode this past Sunday. It's not like it was so action-packed they couldn't shave a bunch off (AKA every single Cynthia segment - bore bore snore snore) and we would've walked away with the same picture in our heads. A bit underwhelming. Here's my half ass attempt at pretending I cared about any of this week's mess:
- I'm not even going to lie and say that I watched the Cynthia scenes. I fast forward'd through them, no time to waste on these wet noodles. Though I will say, in my FF frenzy, it looked like they had some sort of mixed bag entourage with them - who were these fools? Didn't really care enough to invest.
- Another disappointment, nothing interesting enough on the Kim front - except her amazing awesome outfit when she went purity ring shopping with her offspring. I present you the latest in classy fashion:
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| Photo (c) Bravo |
- Ugh sorry that's a crappy pic (all I could find) that makes it look like she was wearing an innocent little maxi dress. You gotta take my word (which isn't worth much, sorry) there was a ton of side boobage and striperella strappy bikini back action going on. Moving on, who else is getting sick of this Kim/Kandi cold war of words over Tardy for the Party money? You can't stretch this non story over 8 episodes and not have anything new to share.
- Ok, so on to Kandi. Can we please get off this Kandi Koated Nights nonsense? Really, does anyone watch this cracker jack operation? I just went over to the KKN to see if I can get a viewer count, but that thing is held together with masking tape, almost froze my computer so I had to bolt. Kandi - stop talking about vaginas 24/7 it's like vajayjay this and coochie that. Ugh yes we get it you are a "freak" go to Craigslist and don't drag us in the middle of things we can't unhear.
- I'm not going to waste too much time on Phaedra today since she's usually the centerpiece of these recaps (and she was only on for like 30 seconds). Anyone else feel like her husband has a side piece? There's a sort of I'm a subservient kept man who will get the last laugh glimmer in his eye dontcha think? And why did they get home from the hospital and get all comfy before going back to the car for the baby?
- This brings me to Nene. I am convinced that Nene thinks there's a reality show category at the Oscars. First with the Melanie Griffith Working Girl storyline last week and now this week with the Kramer v. Kramer slash War of the Roses drama with Gregg. That was some good stuff Nene, I have a feeling Andy Cohen will pull some strings and get the Bravo folks to cough up a fake Oscar and awards ceremony 2 episode special....
- Saving the best for last - award for keeping my attention longest this week went to Sheree and Dr. Tyee (of pervy finger-licking and sandal wearing, super serious, important, for real online degree fame). The lunchtime showdown between these two is the stuff I liver for. Tyee is the shadiest of the shady, he oozes "I'm lying" from every pore of his body. My favorite part of course, was the end when he pulled his paper proof (AKA fake University of Phonix diploma written with a Sharpie in his car 5 minutes before the date) that he has a PhD but refused to show it to her unless she'd prove to him that she was really a woman. But how sad was I when he walked off into the sunset? Bravo, find a way to get him back in stat (or get some more Dwight scenes to fill this void).
For more Housewives/Bravo commentary, check out Andy Cohen, Can We Twalk, RHOA 11/23 Check You and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Check You.
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