Some Questions For the Universe

Why am I (on a Friday night no less):

• Watching a Ron White stand-up special on Comedy Central
• Feeling the increasing pain of those judgy pink teeth marks from my elastic waistband?  (oh yeah, I can answer that one, I may or may not have eaten 6 balls of pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough heated in the microwave for approximately 33 seconds - AKA too fat and hungry to wait for the oven)
• Loving this Kevin Bacon commercial for the Logitech Google TV thingy?