Sunday, September 26, 2010

Double Digit Pageviews! I'd Like to Thank...

I have officially left the losers in the dust and crossed over to double digit pageviews. 

Nevermind that many are automated site crawlers. I'd like to think each and every one is a genuine person poring over and analyzing the meaning of every single word. 

Here's to the sites that inspired me.  Without you - I'd be a loser without a blog.  Or even worse, a loser with a blog that has single digit pageviews.

I couldn't have done it without:

Trolling for Twits! Tweets of the Day

Look what I found scavenging at Twitter.  It's a slow day today - I had to work hard cutting out the 99.5% of posts about fffff, ffffffff, ffffffff, football. I'll send you the bill. 

Sulk the prophet speaking universal truths...

1.  thesulk I'm happy for my friends. More so when they fail.

Lil Jon finally running out of pep? Somebody call an ambulance... get him some Crunk Juice, stat!


Snooks n Pauly finally listening to destiny?

3.  DJPaulyD“@Sn00ki: @DJPaulyD ;) wanna make some guido babies?”<<<< Yupppp

I get sad when Arj and I aren't on the same continent... 

4.  arjbarker On my way to Sweden, to make humor for their ears.

Conversation Rapists

Conversation rapists are running amok in our society.   At the grocery store, on my flight, at the office, at the stop light just dying to chat with the closest thing.

Listen, I got my own pile of nothing going on, I can't invest in yours. 

Helpful Hint: you can sense a serial CR a mile away, they emit a certain vibe. Never, ever ever EVER look one directly in the eye.  Ever.

Deconstructing Snooki

The Diminutive Dynamo With a Mighty Roar

I'm Just Sayin'

Before you judge Snooki, let's just take a step back and try to find out why the entire country (including me) is so infatuated with her.  

True she's gimmicky and flashy - and some people are simply gawking at someone "different."  But if that was all she had, her five minutes would have passed by now.  There's something underneath that orange shellack that keeps us mesmerized and coming back for more.  This rare young flower possesses an appeal that is enviable.  

To women, especially those under 5'3," dark haired or ethnic (guilty), she makes us realize the fact that we are different from the "stereotypical ideal" or that we look like cute little girls doesn't mean we should be submissive, meek or scared. 

Let me tell you - when you're this short and have people literally looking down at you all day long, it can really get to you psychologically.  Trust me I know. 

But not Snooki - she stands tall and proud.  She knows what she wants and she doesn't change herself for anybody. She has a presence, a voice and can command a room.  In all seriousness, years of post-graduate education did not teach me this most important life lesson.   

She is charismatic, witty, humorous and can start a trend like nobody's business, which is why I sat in the hair accessory aisle at CVS for 10 minutes last weekend wondering if I should buy those white plastic hair clips she coifs her poof with.  For the record, I didn't.  Maybe next time.

My head hurts from all this philosphizing.  I kind of can't believe that I really tried to get this deep about a cast member of the Jersey Shore.  Not trying to gush by any means - and I don't endorse everything she does.  But when you look at this singular aspect, it's an interesting point to consider.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Trolling for Twits! Tweets of the Day

To my ones (or maybe someday tens) of readers.  I slaved tirelessly for you today, spending minutes upon minutes excavating the least boring* in the murky cesspool that is Twitter.  Please click interesting if you think it was worth my precious time I could have spent drinking a mint julep.**  
  1. SethMacFarlane: RT @ebenezerscrooge: xmas sux xmas rulz
  2. CGottiAgnello (john gotti's grandson): With some bad peopleee
  3. thesulk (sarah silverman's main squeeze): Thanks for reminding me of death, sunsets
  4. rustyrockets (russell brand): Told, not "tild" there is no agricultural element.
  5. natashaleggero (commediene and Chelsea Lately reg): Every 2 blocks in NY there's someone having the worst day of their lives.
* In my opinion, and let's face it - that's all that counts on MY blog. Just kidding, stay please, I'll make you a sandwich.  I know that came out creepy, no don't leave - I only care what you think. I'm pathetic, now I've gone and ruined everything.  Da rabbits George.

** If I was a middle aged women named Beverly or Delta in the south with a parasol. I've never really had one, don't even technically know what a mint julep is.  What's in it? Sounds fancy.

Brandon Davis Not Dead - How the Blogerazzi Tried to Kill an Oil Heir

Imagine my surprise when my iGoogle screen proclaimed that Brandon Davis was dead.  Cut to a "Refresh" later and the link is dead.  Why?  Well you see, Brandon Davis is dead, but it's not THE Brandon Davis.  A man with the same moniker was found dead in a North Las Vegas gas station.  And before you could sneeze "get your facts straight" the blogerazzi was already pushing news flashes live with promises of details coming.  The good news in today's instant world obsessed with breaking news - at least the retract is easier and less embarassing than on air or in print.  You could just pretend it never happened.  Click, whimper, and within just a couple of minutes all the stories were down (caches notwithstanding).   Now everybody go home.