Monday, December 13, 2010

The Science of Why We Love Jennifer Aniston

Today, we have a "very special episode" of PAT.  Remember when you were a kid and your favorite sitcom had a "message" episode?  What a bummer right? But it ended being mildly entertaining - and heck, it even made you think little bit.  

Well, THIS post is THAT episode.  Buckle up and get serious for a second because we're gonna do some psychoanalysis. 

Oh, lighten up, it's about the cover girl of nearly every single tabloid for a decade - so it can't be THAT serious.  That's right, instead of hugs not drugs, we're gonna talk about Jennifer Aniston (remember when I said a little while ago that I watched The Bounty Hunter? Well after that, I watched Love Happens so yeah, the Aniston hypnosis is in full effect right now. It might as well be 8:30 pm on a Thursday night in 1997).

Why do almost all women love Jennifer Aniston (from beforethe "Brad" thing to present day)? It's a complicated dance, a dichotomy if you will - we both identify with her flaws and strive to achieve her perfection.  She embodies all of our personal projections.  She's given us hope for more than 15 years of our lives (well, to those of us old enough to be able to say that - for the Miley generation, "she's a pretty older lady in the movies and was funny in that one show I watched with mom when I was in diapers - I still love the reruns and I love love love dressing vintage mid-90s! Auntie cat lady, take me to the mall!!!!!").

Let's break it down. The girl overcame chubbiness, awkward looks and family strife as she worked to achieve her dreams.

She has a cast of features on her face that - one by one are flawed (check it out for yourself, she has small eyes, a unique shaped nose, an unconventional jawline) but the package, put together, is absolutely stunning.  A testament to her hard work, determination and instinct to shake what her mama gave her.

Almost none of us can identify with Giselle Bundchen or Miranda Kerr or Cindy Crawford - with their freakish other-worldly genetics that nearly classifies them as another species.  But Jennifer gives us homo sapiens some hope.

So how exactly do we play into all this?   Picture it: circa mid nineties to early millennium, we were determined to follow young Rachel Greene's footsteps. So we cut our hair in layers, got some highlights, did some yoga and cut out carbs.   And we actually did look and feel better.

Jennifer dated some "eh, he'll do's" then eventually landed her "Prince Charming" in a whirlwind fairy tale. We too found our knights in shining armor after kissing a few <dozen> frogs.  

But the years went by and we learned life wasn't all roses with these supposed princes and knights.  They were jackasses after all, leading us down alleys of betrayals and disappointment no less. We turned around and oh our beloved Jennifer,  our untouchable Jennifer - she who was so disciplined that she did pilates and yoga every hour on the hour, she who ate the same "lean, healthy, no carb" cobb salad every single day for ten years - she too was a victim of a wolf in sheep's clothing - just like us.  We all watched with baited breath as our own lives idled along, our resigned complacency landing us in vanilla ruts. 

Would she crumble?  Because that's what we wanted to do. Life was too hard, we couldn't go on.  But Jenny got back up, pilate'd her ass harder than ever and did like 200 movies in a row.  She got back on the love horse too.  Sure, she had some bad flings and career  moves (just like us) but she STILL shook them all off and moved on again and again.  Meanwhile, each passing year added a new layer of beaty to her glowing frame.

Was that even possible?  Was that something that we could do too?  We wiped our tears away and followed suit.  Sure we'd endure hurtful reminders - a callous acquaintance here, an awkward run-in there.  But this untouchable woman has to deal with that shit on a weekly basis in public on every single tabloid - with the SAME storyline five years and counting.  And she does it with more class than most of us could muster in the face of a mere sideways glance.

I once read that Jennifer likes to take advantage of her  victim image in the press because it keeps her relevant and boosts her career.  Perhaps it's because she's also smarter than we give her credit for.  She actually took lemons and made million-ade.

Brava, Jennifer, brava!!!!!!!!

We don't know how the story will eventually play out for Jenny, but one thing's for sure, we'll all be watching with pencil and pad in hand.

No comments:

Post a Comment