Charlie Sheen's UStream: Live Blogging

It's Saturday night, so natch we're home.  But this isn't just any ordinary Saturday night for a loser homebody - this is like the greatest Saturday night to have nothing to do.  Why? Because just a few hours ago, Mr. Charlie Sheen himself announced he'd be broadcasting a UStream live from his house.

We're logged in ready to go, waiting for Mr. Sheen. The UStream just got started!!!

• Whoa, Simon Rex  (AKA Dirt Nasty) is there!!!! Why? Who knows? 
• Charlie opens with shout outs to his sponsors - apparently he's making some money on this thing, hence the $  t-shirt. Sponsors include HDNet and a new drink called "Tiger Blood" - it's organic just so you know. 
• One of the goddesses is missing!  (Rachel AKA Bree Olson) Charlie says she's "out of town."  Interesting since earlier in the day Charlie tweeted she left him and that he was taking new applications, but then quickly deleted the tweet saying they were back together.   A quick check on her Twitter account reveals that she's in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Perhaps visiting family?
• 7:07 PST: So far more than 112,000 viewers have tuned in
• 7:08 Charlie just unveiled a new tattoo with the word "WINNING" scrawled on his wrist.  Surely a new trend.  I've already called the tattoo parlor to get my appointment.  
• 7:10 some LOLcat style pics of cats "winning" over dogs are being displayed.  Natch.
• 7:11 Some bizarro news is being reported.  Something about an eagle scout.  Then, a bald eagle crashing into a windshield and surviving. 
• 7:14 we're officially bored.  Guess this is really supposed to be some sort of "show."  Why did we think he was going to have some news about his life or 2.5 Men to report??? We're kind of ready to give up on this thing.  We'll give it a couple more minutes.
• 7:16 they're finally wrapping up the "Winning" news. Charlie just said he may be broadcasting everyday or every week if enough people are interested.  Based on this ep, we're gonna have to say "Nyet nyet Soviet" to that proposal. 
• P.S. lots of fart sounds happening throughout the broadcast thanks to the "Music Guy" Simon Rex mixing from a laptop in the background.  Is Charlie trying to be Howard Stern??? 
• Now they're waiting for a call "from the President" WTF??? Nothing happens and Charlie looks to be annoyed by the disorganization of the team.  He wants to fire someone. 
• 7:19 New segment "Weighing in With Rick"  they want us to Twitter in some questions.  BORING
• Sidenote - back to Howard Stern: We kind of think this was Howard Stern's idea to begin with. Earlier this week in his interview with Charlie, he said he wanted to send Charlie a microphone so he would broadcast for Sirius.  Wonder why Mr. Sheen decided to go with Mark Cuban instead.......  We're guessing it may have something to do with money. 

• Now Charlie's asking for viewers to tell him what their favorite Charlie Sheen saying is......
• 7:22 Lots of nonsense and gibberish among the group, speaking amongst themselves like they don't have a camera on them
• 7:23 The subject of the BYU sex scandal was brought up via Twitter by a viewer.  Charlie's two cents on the topic: "there's two ways to look at it... BYU... lighten up" or "he knew the rules coming in." Wow, profound. Tiger blood runs deep. 
• 7:24 Charlie debuted the new saying "Losing"
• 7:25 Charlie is drinking something out of a sippy cup

• 7:26 viewer count is going down.  It's now in the 105,000 range.  (P.S. we're barely hanging by a thread ourselves)
• 7:27 new segment "Wish They Were Me." On that list? Dr. Drew, Nancy Grace and some addiction specialist that apparently spoke out about Charlie.
• 7:30 new segment "Wish I Were Them." On that list? Colin Farrel, Brian Wilson and Sean Penn
• 7:32 Charlie announces a new list "The Gnarls Gnarlington List." (apparently that's a good thing???) On that list? Reggie Jackson, Todd Zale (sp?), Tony Todd, Mark Cuban and "me" 
• 7:34 everyone is hot and sweaty looking - wiping their brows.  Charlie is complaining about no air conditioning, making jokes about a budget
• 7:35 viewership has dipped to the 99,000 range

• 7:36  Charlie is pushing a new saying "Plan Better" on us.  "Natty Napalm" came to sit on his lap to be a part of the Plan Better segment.  We didn't really get it. 
• 7:38 Charlie is complaining about his Homeowners Association - something about cameras and the front gate guards.
• 7:40 Charlie continues to ramble in a stream of consciousness where we're only comprehending every third word or so. Prob cause we don't have tiger blood.  Boo us.   Something about Jeff Ross? Or some other Jeff???  We think? We're "losing"
• 7:41 Charlie intro's a new saying "Earn Yourself"
• 7:43 Charlie's reading fan favorite Charlie-isms. We agree with this one: "Come on bro, I won best picture at 20"
• 7:45 Charlie says he burned his AA book.  Now the gang is awkwardly saying "Now what?" They're out of segments.
• 7:47 Sooo..... Charlie starts rummaging through his drawer to show us what's in it (ironically, this act of desperation becomes our favorite segment).  He shows us his book of poetry that he wrote (that was conveniently just laying around), and Casey Stengel's passport.  His friend with the hat is going through a "magic tray" with a bunch of candy in it.  Yes, it's come to this.
• 7:49 Charlie shows us his Apocalypse Now (this again?) "channel" that streams the movie all day long (AKA a DVD on loop)  
• 7:50 Charlie is talking about past movie moments (that he starred in), and then disses Wall Street 2
• 7:52 Charlie reads us one of his poems from the book to wrap up the show.  Lucky us. 
• 7:53 It's finally over!!!!!

We can proudly say we survived "Sheen's Korner." We need to go take a shower now.

Update: It happened too quick for us to catch it, but apparently the call in the middle of the broadcast that Charlie picked up was from none other than Beverly Hills Housewife Adrienne Maloof's husband Dr. Paul Nassif

They're Charlie's neighbors (and friends).  Dr. Nassif tweeted back to his wife that he wanted to see if Charlie would actually pick up the phone.  Maloof and the Doof strike again.  Man we miss them.