2/10 Jersey Shore Episode Closing Thoughts PLUS A Very Special Message About Sammi and Ronnie

P.S. we know this is old and has Angelina in it.
It's vintage. We're keepin it.

Each Jersday is better than the last.  Amirite or Amirite?

Here are some nuggets to chew on:

• How much did we love Snooki's "analogy" between Sammi's bedframe not fitting through the doorway and Vinny's manhood not getting through her "pinhole?"
• How much more did we love the fact that Vinny was caught off guard watching tonight's episode and Snooki's "analogy":

hee hee hee MEHHHHH

• We tried hard not to laugh at JWOWW's assless chaps, but they were just... funny.
• Raise your hand if you think Mike apologized only because he was afraid of Ronnie the pitbull kickin his hyena (meant to say hiney, but this seems more fitting)
• If we had a set of The Situation Rosary Beads (no really, these exist), we'd be kissin' em thankin ay dios mio for Pauly D's comic relief.  Homeboy is ready to grab the YellowPages, let his fingers do the talking and kick Sam and Ron out into another beach house. 
• Speaking of Pauly, is it just us, or does his "I'm really listening to you and taking this seriously" face (AKA when he was pullin' Sammi away from Ronnie or when Sammi was telling him she was leaving) look super-fake like he's about to crack up any second? Pauly, we ain't buyin what you're sellin (unless it's rosary beads... or DJ headphones.... or a blow dryer..... or sneaker cleaner)
• Ron, why you gotta break her glasses? Hate her or not, girl needs to SEE. Moron you in a minute (unintentional wordplay, we're keepin it).

Oy vay we're feeling extra dramatic tonight so allow us to get all After School Special on your asses.  Better yet, where's a good Blossom "Very Special Message" when you need one? We need Mayim Biyalik and Joey Lawrence to come on the screen to let us know about some Teen hotline we can call to erase the trauma AKA Sammi and Ronnie MeltdownGate. Seriously, tonight's Jersey Shore was the most intense of the season, maybe the entire series. Some parts were painful to watch, especially for anyone who has ever been in a toxic relationship. Although Sammi has been easily targeted as the villain for a long time, it's Ronnie who (in our opinion) deserves the lion's share of blame.  We just don't get his rationale for the bad behavior, but he seems convinced his actions are justified.  What are your thoughts????

Hold up, did PATsy just get serious on your keesters? Ew, feels weird.  That's enough for the decade.

UhYeah, one more thing, we're sick of re-capping Sammi and Ronnie Twitters but basically he's still all about Single Ron and our poor little Sammi made a comment about how much it hurt her to watch the episode. Blerg.

For more 411 (<---- did we seriously just say 411? Sorry, didn't realize it was 1998), check out our way too detailed post on the (final?) Ronnie and Sammi breakup that went down in January.

Also check out: Jersey Shore's Fringe Characters: Where Are They Now

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