Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Your Guy Fieri Bashing Is Getting In the Way of My Food Porn

I never used to mind Guy Fieri. He was a means to an end.  The end being "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" the ultimate in food porn.

I'd watch this show for hours - especially when on a diet.  Living vicariously through a bunch  of porkers made me feel full.  All I could see through my tunnel vision was the greasy, delicious food, the people making it, the people eating it. 

Once in a while I'd notice the white haired "old guy at the club frat guy" hanging around,  but he was barely on my radar.  Then, like a quiet underwater swell Guy Fieri hatred began to build until it the shores like a massive tsunami.  These days, it's everywhere. People bash the guy any chance they get, on SNL, Time Magazine, the blogosphere - even fellow chef Anthony Bourdain is in on the action.

I've had no choice but to notice his douchiness and NOW I CAN'T ENJOY MY FOOD PORN.  All I see is Guy being a douche, Guy making sure diner owners know he's a "real chef,"  Guy "jokingly" judging their cooking methods. Then there's the 90s catch phrases, the creepy uncle factor, the sweat bands and backward sunglasses, and OH MY GAWD the goatee.  It all screams at my senses louder than a thousand car alarms and Vegas neon signs combined.

I can't do it anymore.  "Triple D" (a kicky catch phrase a la Guy) is ruined forever. I've been reduced to watching "Throwdown With Bobby Flay"  but it's hard to see through all the smug.

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