THERE'S A NEW BOSS IN TOWN!!! ROAR
Like for realzies. Gawker is like, barren, lots of days. Every other day there's a swan song from YET ANOTHER WRITER "leaving to pursue other interests" ahem. They got rid of the Editor, Remy Stern - WHO WAS DOING A PERFECTLY FINE JOB, late last year and brought the dude in from Deadspin - A SPORTS BLOG! - to take Remy's place.
Then it announces weird auditions for random new writers and "traffic days" for the remaining writers wherein they post a lot of random stunty moves. Oy vay. Um, hi, Nick Denton, supwitdat?
Never mind that I seriously considered submitting myself to audition as a night/weekend writer at 3AM two Saturdays ago as I stuffed my face with diet snacks and began pulling together a "portfolio" aka a link to this sad blog + some mock headlines and articles I was capable of writing. Then I was all, you know what Nick Denton? Nu uh, you been the boss long enough. And even if by some act of dog, I got the audition gig - something wouldn't feel right. Like dental isn't included is it? Plus the rabid commenters are gonna eat me alive and - did I have to submit posts to be scrubbed of all the good ish first? Probs right?
I don't know you guys. Up is down, left is right, Steve Jobs is dead. Anything is possible.
Can someone suggest a new site where I can zone out of my work day for seven minute mind snacks? Oh I know, I'LL MAKE MY OWN!!! I'll resurrect this crapfest blog and try to pump some mindful ish into this radioactive reality wasteland. Stick around, let's see if we can make something work. Cause GAWKER sure as heck ain't gonna solve this problem for us. Calm down Jezebel, you're doing just fine. Back to work for you. But Gawker? I'll take things over from here. Thank you.
From now on, I'll be mixing up topics, injecting some more surr-ious stories - but of course mindless drivel is the foundation of this house of cards and always will be. Fear not my tens of loyal readers. I mean, where would we be as a human race if we couldn't spend hours pondering the dynamics of Snooki and Mike's possibly fake but possibly real feud? P.S. did you guys see the random club cat fight Sammi got into during last week's Jersey Shore? WTF was that? And why did they only spend like 3 seconds on it? That should have been the whole show. So many questions.
Back to the super serious State of the Union of this blog. Suggestions welcome. Just kidding I don't care what you think. Just kidding, I do, I just try to tell myself not to care what others think cause I'm tryin' to get my mind right and be all like a boss when inside I'm all - like a Ross (Geller, from Friends - not Rick Ross, cause, well, he's a boss).
P.S. I still mourn the loss of Richard Lawson - the best Gawker writer EVER EVER EVER. He left a few months back to write for the Atlantic Wire. But I suspect other tensions motivated that move. And when that happened I was all "I'm gonna read the Atlantic Wire everyday from now on - buh bye Gawker!" But that never happened - I couldn't get into it but I promise I'll try again Richard.