Ashton Kutcher put TMZ on blast today. In a new spoof video mimicking TMZ, Ashton and crew film and discuss paparazzi-style videos of TMZ staffers, from Harvey to Max to Dax (it's funny cause it rhymes) to Charlie etc.... In the video, the various TMZ-ites have cameras pointed in their faces much to their dismay. Ashton and crew then insert rediculous commentary, voiceovers and speculation around a few seconds of video. The original "Kramer" even makes an appearance.
Once the video was loaded, Ashton put TMZ on blast via Twitter:
The video is obviously a promotional spot for PopChips, but the intent runs much deeper than that given Ashton's own experience with the paps. Wonder how I can get a company to sponsor my personal vendettas.. Hey Pop Chips, call me. I had this nemesis in Kindergarten, Jamie....
According to Sify News, British men are cooking in their birthday suits:
In a study of the cooking habits of 3,000 men and women across the country-12 per cent of men said they prefer to do it in the buff, compared to just four per cent of women, reports the Daily Express.
Mental. Image. Won't. Stop. You're welcome. Have fun getting rid of that.
Dog person here. But I gotta say, Garfield was my shit when I was little. I even watched BOTH Garfield movies with Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Like everyone else, i'm uber-sessed with Cee-Lo Green's "F U" song. So of course I spent hours forcing myself on Youtube until she spit out cover after cover for me to judge. The diversity and range of folks, regions and styles covering the song speaks to its universal quality. <-- Did I just say that? Ugh, I'm such a nerd.
By the way, this project that made me feel extra old. Why you ask? In almost every video starring a kid, they'll say the line "I guess he's an XBOX," then pause looking confused for the next few words (should say "and I'm more Atari"). THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE WORDS ARE BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ATARI IS. Be right back, going to register for my AARP subscription. <P.S. I would provide links but that would mean more effort on my part. So you should look for yourself.>
Moving along, here are my Top 5 Picks of FU Covers.
5. A CA PELLA - BROWN UNIVERSITY JABBERWOCKS
I think you can understand why a group of Ivy League boys pouring their hearts out to me made the list. Plus, the a capella is on point. <--- look at me pretending to know something about music. Anyways, check out these guys doing their thing from what looks to be an eery little brick hallway somewhere in the bowels of Brown.
4. TEEN GIRL ACOUSTIC - GABERRZ
Something for the little teen girl in all of us. The true angst of the song isn't quite there because, bless her, she probably hasn't truly joined the FU heartbreak club yet. Good voice, like the song on acoustic. Panda hat is a bonus. Start at 1:44.
3. MONKEYING AROUND - MATT MULHOLLAND
Because every video should have a monkey puppet, clone band and backup dancers, a blue powder tuxedo jacket and a "Hit That" pinata t-shirt. He managed to get a cranky, cynical insomniac to laugh at 5:30 in the morning.
2. VIOLIN GUY - ERIC STANLEY
Amazing violin rendition is amazing. Because I love it when someone flips the script on us. Raise your hand if you think violin lessons are an uncool waste of time. Eric Stanley proves you wrong bitches. Brava. (Put your hands down)
1. IAMBLINDSOWHAT (AKA JOEL)
Great singers these days are a dime a dozen. Joel, a young blind man who asked his friend to set up a recording, isn't the greatest singer so don't expect a jaw-dropping vocal performance. But when I watch him bare his soul, I am inspired to do shit - try to fulfill some of my own potential (which is grossly untapped due to complacency and laziness). Even his name is awesome Says it all. Take it away Joel...
It is 11:05 PM pacific time and I just checked Amazon.com again to see if they're still selling the disturbing pedophilia how-to guide. Looks like it has finally been taken down - when you click on the book, this is the screen that comes up:
Now it's time for Amazon to come forward with a real statement - we're all waiting. So far their strategy has been straight out of the "how not to handle a PR crisis" playbook. How do you defend the indefensible?
Sometimes we cruise the web for a purpose - we want to socialize, we need to buy something or we need to research a term or issue. But many times we hop on simply becuase we're bored or need a brief escape from the day.
Here are some of my favorite daily, weekly and monthly blogs that, in my opinion, are perfect for these situations. The daily ones are updated most frequently while the weekly and monthly ones, though less prolific, are incredibly insightful and thought provoking.
Enjoy and please let me know some of your favorites. I'm always looking for new ones to add to my bookmarks!
Daily
Dlisted.com: Snarky, clever, acerbic, endearing and delightful commentary on the A - Z listers making headlines, quirky happenings and the downright unbelievable!
Gawker.com: Pop culture, politics, entertainment and some New Yawk local happenings thrown in for good measure. With ears to the ground across all corners of the interwebs, the site is updated frequently by a variety of voices. (Tip: many times the comments are just as interesting as the articles themselves).
Jezebel.com: Women's lib a thing of the past? Pshaw! Every modern gal should have this site in her list of "favorites" - whether a hipster, a stay at home mom or a driven career woman.
Consumerist.com: Consumerist gives the "little guy" a voice by highlighting issues that individuals have against products or big business. The publicity many times results in a resolution. There's also a lot of great articles on new products and tips to help us all become more informed, savvier consumers. The daily deals feature will keep you coming back!
Reddit.com: In a nutshell, Reddit is a forum where people can anonymously post up-to-the-minute information based on a variety of topics. Real-time votes give relevance "cred" to the best content. It's hard to describe - you simply have to see it to get it. Warning: it's addictive!
TheDailyBeast.com: A news source with a finger on the pulse of politics and pop culture. When you don't have time to peruse at a leisurely pace, the daily "Cheat Sheet" is a helpful snapshot that gives you an idea of everything you need to know for the day.
Weekly
2birds1blog.com: 2b1b chronicles the life of the funniest 20-something you will ever "meet." Meghan is a real person with real problems and her penchant for getting into awkward situations is pretty remarkable. She chronicles these happenings in a hilarious and endearing style that is simply addictive. Her friend Chris is a great partner in crime who also contributes a number of interesting features.
YouJustMadeMyList.com: When I stumbled upon YJMML, I was so happy to learn that I wasn't the only one that got annoyed by everything from trends and pop culture to regular daily occurrences. The blog combines frustration and outrage with a humorous spin that helps us all feel like we've vented!
Monthly
Zenhabits.net: Everyone needs to relax, de-clutter and decompress - yet these necessities are never as high on our priority lists as we need them to be. Zen Habits has just the right ideas to get us started.
InformationIsBeautiful.net: There's a plethora of information out there that we would all be better for understanding, but simply reviewing facts and figures does not always help. An infographic is a visual representation of a complex set of information or data to better help people "get it" in a simple, easily digestible way - and it's fun! Check out the fascinating info on IIB, you'll never want to see a standard chart again!
I am not going to condone celebrity gossip sites with trashy, mindless or mean content for responsible consumption, but sometimes some people need their fix (surely not me, I certainly don't check these sites all the time, they're definitely not programmed into my iGoogle). No links - but they rhyme with Shmerez Shmilton, ShteeShemShzee, Shmadar Shmonline and Shmex Shmeventeen Shmonline.
So miss little minx boa snuck out a few months ago. To cover up her indiscretion, she lied to her parents (fake body made of pipes did the trick). But now - whoda thunk she'd get pregnant (it wasn't the McDonald's!!). Little miss thought fast and got away with the old "it's a miracle" defense.
Just kidding, this is a hose!
No seriously, all joking aside, a boa constrictor really did give a virgin birth to 22 little mini clones (because that's what they are when they're fatherless). And apparently this isn't the first time or the first species that's pulled this trick.
Men, watch out - one day, we may not need you at all anymore!
Andy Cohen (I know you're reading this right now. Let's not pretend you don't have Google Alerts on yourself. And we know the're set to "as it happens" stedda the more demure "once daily" option) Hi, what's up? Just wanted to say thanks for ruining my life with these crap mess shows. I'm the junkie to your Colombian drug cartel.
So tonight I caught up on some of my stories, starting with "Real Housewives of Atlanta: a Sugar Vajay Affair," folllowed by "Millionaire Matchmaker: Menopuase in Shorts Edition" and then Kathy Griffin's "Ho on Crutches."
I need to get some stuff off my chest. Let's start with RHOA (it's an industry term):
Phaedra - a) thank you for ruining pickles for me for at least a week (what? I like pickies in my tuna - don't make that perverted, seriously tuna salad on wheat, get your mind out of the kindergutter). b) Nene's right, if you're gonna be shady about a due date - be a better lawyer about it. You should have been cross-examining those women, confusing them with bloody gloves and venn diagrams, and c) we all know that you bought the Gucci diaper bag and forced your man to present it to you at the Mother's Day dinner party. For a girl who likes to go around reminding everyone how classy she is, that was some tacky ish.
Kim - stop yelling at your assistant, it's not cute. And pay Kandi for her tracks.
Nene - love you girl. How come the most jaded of us haters all love Nene? Cause boo keeps it real. Stay strong mama - rock that fierce 2.nose (see what I did there?)
Kandi - we need to get you a story line. Oh, and thanks to your back asswards advice, gynecologists across America will be rull busy soon.
She by Sheree - somethin ain't right about Tyee - but I can't put my (FINGER OH MY GOD FINGER COOKIE DOUGH MY EYES BARF BARF HAIL MARY HAIL MARY) on it.
New Tall Girl- I don't really know you yet, but tell your man to step off Nene.
Ok, on to Millionaire HatchetMaker.
I'm not even going to get to the millionaires in this episode. Snobby gay guy is too easy. And drunky douche from Brooklyn without an original thought in his head who seeks approval and validation from his meathead friends on any move he makes INCLUDING A GIRL ON A FIRST DATE - you get a hall pass this week.
This is all about Patti. Because homegirl officially jumped the shark this episode.
Honey, something happens when you decide to cut yourself off from the real world and surround yourself with "yes men" that depend on you for a living. (By the by, guess what - at night as they're taking down the mohawk and uncurling their pink bangs, they talk about how much of a joke you are - or they run away and do tell alls in Star Magzine - but I digress). Something happens when you cruelly judge women in a lineup episode after episode.
Honey, you're like a bad pschology experiment gone wrong. I've seen bowls of oatmeal more self aware than you are. I know you think you're cute and that we're chortling at those sad little match stick girls with you, but please don't get this mess twisted, we're laughing AT you.
Last night was literally the straw that broke the heffer's back. When you started telling gay guy to stop being arrogant and judgey with people and made him wear ugly makeup to see how it feels when he acts that way towards people - my Lean Cuisine microwave pizza almost cashed in its return receipt. I literally did the Heidi Montag open mouth outrage stare at the TV for 10 minutes.
And girlfriend, we know you're really a sensitive salamander on the inside. Don't act like we don't remember the episode 2 seasons ago when the cougar client said your bangs were nasty. You may think you got her good chewing her out and kicking her out of your elite "Club," bit we've never seen you in bangs since.
Oh, one last thing. Somebody lied to you about those shorts.
Finally - a quick word on Kathy's special. I wanted to like it, I really did. Kathy - remember like 5 specials ago when you said that Oprah got better when she gained weight? Well I think the unforgetting hand of fate has turned the tables on you. Oh, and 1996 Gwen Stefani wannabe called, she wants her baby tee back. Seriously what is up with your on stage outfits? You're all class-act-lady-who-lunches everywhere you go, then suddenly 5 minutes before every show you run into a broom closet to put on your never evolving black pants (or dickies?) schmoutfit. Sup with that? Sup?
Oh and P.S. Andy, why can't I stop watching "Watch What Crappens?" I think it's because I NEED to know what new Disorano on the rocks "not a sponsor" mixed drink you're rockin every week in the "faux millionaire's study in a jersey warehouse basement" setup you got goin' there. We cracked the code on why the shot is so tight. Geesh Bravo spring the extra $50 at the garage sale to make the mockuparlor set more than 4' x 4'. Sometimes we need a wide shot to keep us ensconced in the make believe. You're piercing the veil of our fantasy worlds.
Mzl (that's short for Mazel Tov so it doesn't take as much space).
