Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy SUPPOSEDLY DIVORCING? Some Thoughts...

IMAGE SOURCE: Bethenny Frankel's Twitter (@bethenny)

You guys, I know the news that Bethenny and Jason are on the verge of a split has been like EVERYWHERE the past, like, 30 hours or so. But you know what? Something just isn't adding up for me.

Here's are some of the facts that lead me to believe that a) Bethenny is a shrewd business woman (duh) and reality television EXPERT and b) these two are not getting divorced in the near term:

a) Bethenny realized the successful formula for reality television long ago - like in the first season of Real Housewives of New York. What was the secret? Portraying some sort of a struggle, establishing an underdog status and airing a bunch of relationship drama out there. Remember folks, she had another boyfriend named Jason before Mr. Hoppy and turbulence between them was prominently portrayed on RHONY early seasons.

b) Bethenny has a new test market talk show sneak peek airing on a few Fox affiliates next month, and she really, really, really needs it to perform.

c) Now, a couple of months ago, rumors were swirling that Bethenny would NOT get her own talk show because it wasn't testing well. Women were SUPPOSEDLY having a hard time relating and Bethenny SUPPOSEDLY had to retain the services of a speech therapist or talking coach or whatever so that she could SLOW DOWN how fast she talks. So..... somehow she ended up getting some sort of weak sauce 6 week commitment. You know she's super freaked about keeping ratings high to get a FULL ORDER talk show. I mean, wouldn't you be?

d) Bethenny's reality show on Bravo is bowing next week for the season, and perhaps forever?All guesses are pointing to a reality TV swan song since BF is like WAY TOO BIG for that noise anymore. How will she ever keep the hype and interest going so that people will actually tune in to the talk show and her ratings will impress?

e) My guess would be - PLANT A STORY in STAR Magazine that the Frankel Hoppy marriage is in trouble - that'll keep tongues wagging.

....Aaaaaaaaand here's exhibit A-E from Bethenny's Twitter today when a fan (or "fan") asked her if the divorce rumors were true:

Boom!!! See what she did there? Of course you do, I just laid it all out for you like a CHEMISTRY PROOF. It's science!

Once again, you're welcome. I'll be in my lair if you need me.