Jersey Shore - What Happened Last Night????

Needs more Arvin!! Please tell me someone sent him on a cargo plane straight to Italy sometime in this mess of a season.

Ok, first things first.  Who else feels like Situation is into Snooki because she's basically transformed into a LEGIT real life A list star?  I don't think he would have ever been into her (except to use her for a night) in the past.  But now, I think he sees a gravy train.  How creepy was the scene when she was bickering with Super Mario Jionni on the phone and he was just STANDING THERE.  Like a big creep.  Just eavesdropping and reveling in the fact that they were arguing. READY TO POUNCE. Ew. SO SHADY. 

The whole Deena/Pauly thing is kinda sad.  Like - we've all been there when we're drunk from infatuation and refuse to see the SIGNS that HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.  Please tell me someone made a gif of the scene last week when they were "kissing" and Pauly had the saddest, most pained expression on his face.  Poor guy had to pretend he was sleeping to escape her.  P.S. Deena, we predict your tiger stripe tan lines will be the newest trend - kinda go with the tiger stripe hair....

So I was half right about Ronnie and Sammi hooking up by episode 2.  They didn't exactly "hook up" yet, but all the seeds have been planted.  Meanwhile, how HIGH SCHOOL MEAN is Ronnie - bragging about all the women he's bedded right in front of the poor girl.  I mean, Ronnie, she "magically grew" tatas for you right before Italy.  Why would you be so excited to BREAK SOMEONE who has that much love for you?  Oy, this guy - I just don't get it. 

The pizza job orientation scene was kinda lame.  MTV, who are we kidding here? We're still going with this whole "job" thing?  Is it really necessary?  THIS ISN'T REAL WORLD SEASON 2.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO MANUFACTURE CONFLICT.  It's already there! They're from Jersey, drama is their food.  They can't live without it. 

Um, what else.  I feel a little like deja vu watching this season.  Lot of the same old horse tricks.  Meh. Did I miss anything?

Jersey Shore Season 4 ITALY - First Show - IMPRESSIONS

- first of ollllllll - how are we feeling about these Stacker 2 - 6 hour power energy shots commercials with Deena and Sammi? Basically, you know some MTV Ad Sales exec sold the ad space and promised Sitch and Snooki to the Stacker 2 guys, and pulled the old bait and switch w/the bottom 2.

OK - Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way.  WE'RE ALREADY PRETTY SURE  SAMMI had breast implants (ALLEGEDLY) -we cracked that code back in February before they even left for Italy.  See here.  So why is she being all coy? Pretending like she hasn't had them when Nicole says they she should be getting implants together?  And Sammi, don't think we didn't notice you asking the boobie pro JWOWW all those implant maintenance questions.  Mmmmm hmmmmmmm.

Second of olllllllllll - WTF about Situation and Snooki?  Sex?????????? But but, what about little Super Mario Brother Jionni? We love him. Memba this???

The lil ones were happy and snorkeling once upon a time.
Anyhoozles, we're gonna have to side with Ron and NOT BELIEVE SITCH'S LYING A$$.   SERIOUSLY, DUB TEA EFF.  And how creepy was Mike kissin on Snooks in the club?   Where's Ronnie creepin' behind the plant when you need one?  Oh Hai Ron....

Eww can we talk about the pigeons for a sec?  No not Deena, (just kiddin' Deena girl, call me, we'll hang out at the Strip Mawl) actual pigeons - how much did that scene give me a flashback of being in Florence, San Marcos Square  when they swooped down and stole my $60 snack right out of my little 7 year old paw.  Trauma.

Oh yeah, what's the over under on when Sammi and Ronnie are gonna get back together?  We say by episode 2 at the latest.

Whadya you guys all think??????????

Jersey Shore Reunion: Is Everyone Mad at Mike?

Source: Facebook

The JS crew is in Los Angeles this weekend filming the Jersey Shore Season 3 Reunion, and sources allege that Mike is pretty much the outcast of the group.

Although Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is right up there with Snooki as the biggest Jersey Shore resident, his popularity with the roommates is an entirely different "situation."  If you've watched any of the Jersey Shore Hook-Ups or After Shows lately, you've surely seen the roomies get more and more eye-rolley about him. Even in recent episodes, the Gang is beginning to piece together the fact that Mike has instigated nearly every house controversy.

We predict that Sorrentino will be hated on heavily throughout the Reunion (kind of like he was in the Season 1 Reunion, but worse).  We're also betting that normally neutral DJ Pauly D may even get in on the action.

What do you think?  Do you get the same feeling?

Jersey Shore Dreams Into Reality: Featuring Deena and DJ Pauly D

Did you ever just sit there and think to yourself: "I really wish I could see Deena Nicole Cortese making clown-style balloon animals while sharing deep thoughts on relationships with DJ Pauly D?"

Well guess what?  That doesn't just have to be a dream anymore!  You've wished it into reality!!




For more on our Jersey Shore prep ritual and updates on what the gang's up to now, click here.

P.S. do you like it when the JS crew gets deep? Or do you prefer they stay shallow and crazy?  Leave a comment and let us know! It's just a click away and you can easily comment anonymously!

P.P.S. For more Jersey Shore stories, click here

Can We Talk About Snooki Passing Out With JWoww's Dogs?

Are we in agreement this was the most entertaining part of this week's Jersey Shore?

Our elaborate, highly-skilled rendition of the incident

Runners up were:

• Ron Ron's butt drama
• The rise and fall of Snooki's infatuation with a poor unsuspecting guido
• Pauly's t-shirt time with Danielle the Israeli "stalker"

Want more Jersey Shore dirt? Check out: What Happened With Vinny and Ryder?; Sammi and Ronnie Break-Up... Again and Jersey Shore's Fringe Characters - Where Are They Now?

And for even more Jersey Shore stories from our blog, click here

Jersey Shore: What Happened With Vinny and Ryder? Snooki Explains

Vinooki invites you in...

Source: Snooki's Twitter photos via Plixi

So, have we mentioned how obsessed we are with Jersey Shore Dailies?   Jersey Shore Dailies are basically mundane Jersey Shore scrap clips from the editing room floor that are barfed onto the web with some ads (that are nearly as long as the clips themselves) so MTV can squeeze every last ounce of blood from a stone. And guess what? We return each day like salivating Pavlovian dogs, pressing the refresh button in hopes for more treats.

Anyhoo, our persistence in culling these hidden treasures has finally paid off (if paying off means making no money, nobody caring and us getting fatter from inactivity).  We've finally unearthed the diamond in the rough unlocking the mysteries of the Vinny/Ryder Hook Up (AKA VinDerGate 2010).  Pauly D. provides much needed comic relief as Snooki and Vinny have an intense discussion that will leave nary a droy oye in da howse:



Did we learn anything new? Kind of.  Snooki says Ryder will be visiting the Shore house in two weeks for her birthday (so our PREDICTION that Ryder will make another appearance this season is panning out quite well, but we selfishly digress) which leads to the long-awaited exchange.  Here's what we've pieced together:

1. Sometime between Season 2 and Season 3, Vinny and Ryder hooked up IN SNOOKI'S HOUSE!
2. Vinny and Ryder were hooking up in Snooki's bed until Snooki walked in and saw "ass" and Ryder's "kuka" at which point they (VinDer) ran into the bathroom and wouldn't come out despite Snooki's questioning
3. At some point in the past, prior to VinDerGate 2010, Snooki hooked up with Vinny's cousin. We are not clear if this is the "making out" or "sex" kind of "hooking up" as these two definitions are interchangeable in Guido lexicon
4. At some point after VinDerGate 2010, Snooki, heartbroken, ran back into the arms of Vinny's cousin  
5. Points #3 and #4 make up the foundation of The Great Vinny Defense of 2010:  a loophole in the "sex with the best friend" betrayal by means of a contrived diversion.  In TGVD2010, the perp plays up to the victim's ego by feigning sadness from an unrelated incident [which is unrelated because a) the first time was before Snooks and Vin hooked up b) the second was after he did it with her best friend and c) because Vinny really couldn't care less - you can see it in his sh1t-eating grin. Amirite or amirite?].  We see what you did there Vinny. Well played. 

P.S.  How crazy was the incessant fan-screaming from the Bennys on the streets?   It's raw footage like this that pierces the veil between MTV fantasy and the zoolike reality AKA don't be fooled, these aren't just some normal kids in Seaside anymoah.   But we do have a new-found respect for the MTV editors that have skillfully masked the issue with close ups and audio trickery.  We see what you did there MTV.