Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion - Kinda Meh. No?

Source:  TwitPic, Plixi or YFrog via Twitter

So last night, we popped the popcorn, got on our "bigger" sweats (hey, it's winter) and settled into the couch to watch the promised "explosive" RHOA reunion.  As each minute passed, becoming more "meh" than the last, we tried to convince  ourselves to "stay pumped" and that something dramatic would happen real soon.

Ugh, such was not the case.

• Yes Kim and Nene "had it out" but it wasn't anything we hadn't heard before. AND they looked like they were just going through the motions in their one major tete a tete (<-- is that how you spell that????), you know, for contractual reasons.   This time, it really seemed like it was all for the cameras.  But in all seriousness, how many of you think Nene's changed?  She's just mean all the time now - like last season's Jill Zarin in NY, no?
• They kept trying to make us care about Cynthia the "runaway bride."  Listen, Cynthia is gorgeous for sure, but crazy eyes scare men away.  Period.  We have a feeling the running in her past wasn't done by her. 
• Poor Kandi wasn't really even given a chance to talk. But there's promise she will have more of a part next week when she has it out with Kim over money for her songs.  

On the brighter side...

• It was nice to see the "real" side of Phaedra.  Here level-headedness and "lawyered-up" vernacular convinced us that she is in fact a smart business woman and not the ridiculous caricature she portrays on the show.  Looks like she dropped the act in the reunion.  Not sure if that bodes well for her or not because if Nene or Kim leave, we need a new drama queen to step up and Phaedra is our only hope.
• We liked Sheree's new hair AND Kandi's.  We're not sure why all the hate about Kandi's hair.  Derek J is a master and you WILL respect his work!

Some predictions:

• We think Nene probably wants her own show.  We wouldn't be surprised if she's vying for it behind the scenes as we speak.
• We think Kim will actually be the one to get her own show.  She not only can carry it in her own right, but she brings with her an interesting cast of characters.

P.S. are we leaving anything out??? Leave a comment!!!

Real Housewives of Atlanta - I'm Getting Lazy

So, I'm getting lazy, it's Tuesday evening and I'm just now getting to addressing RHOA.  It didn't move me enough to get off my a$$ and do a character by character recap in real-time.  I'll shoot for this on Thursday with RHOBH. 

Ok so I don't really know what was up with the 1:15 minute episode this past Sunday.  It's not like it was so action-packed they couldn't shave a bunch off (AKA every single Cynthia segment - bore bore snore snore) and we would've walked away with the same picture in our heads. A bit underwhelming.  Here's my half ass attempt at pretending I cared about any of this week's mess:

• I'm not even going to lie and say that I watched the Cynthia scenes. I fast forward'd through them, no time to waste on these wet noodles.  Though I will say, in my FF frenzy, it looked like they had some sort of mixed bag entourage with them - who were these fools?  Didn't really care enough to invest.
• Another disappointment, nothing interesting enough on the Kim front - except her amazing awesome outfit when she went purity ring shopping with her offspring. I present you the latest in classy fashion:

Photo (c) Bravo

• Ugh sorry that's a crappy pic (all I could find) that makes it look like she was wearing an             innocent little maxi dress.  You gotta take my word (which isn't worth much, sorry) there was a ton of side boobage and striperella strappy bikini back action going on.  Moving on, who else is getting sick of this Kim/Kandi cold war of words over Tardy for the Party  money? You can't stretch this non story over 8 episodes and not have anything new to share. 
•  Ok, so on to Kandi.  Can we please get off this Kandi Koated Nights nonsense?  Really, does anyone watch this cracker jack operation?  I just went over to the KKN to see if I can get a viewer count, but that thing is held together with masking tape, almost froze my computer so I had to bolt.  Kandi - stop talking about vaginas 24/7 it's like vajayjay this and coochie that.  Ugh yes we get it you are a "freak" go to Craigslist and don't drag us in the middle of things we can't unhear. 
•  I'm not going to waste too much time on Phaedra today since she's usually the centerpiece of these recaps (and she was only on for like 30 seconds).  Anyone else feel like her husband has a side piece?  There's a sort of I'm a subservient kept man who will get the last laugh glimmer in his eye dontcha think? And why did they get home from the hospital and get all comfy before going back to the car for the baby?
• This brings me to Nene. I am convinced that Nene thinks there's a reality show category at the Oscars.  First with the Melanie Griffith Working Girl storyline last week and now this week with the Kramer v. Kramer slash War of the Roses drama with Gregg.  That was some good stuff Nene, I have a feeling Andy Cohen will pull some strings and get the Bravo folks to cough up a fake Oscar and awards ceremony 2 episode special....
• Saving the best for last - award for keeping my attention longest this week went to Sheree and Dr. Tyee (of pervy finger-licking and sandal wearing, super serious, important, for real online degree fame).  The lunchtime showdown between these two is the stuff I liver for.  Tyee is the shadiest of the shady, he oozes "I'm lying" from every pore of his body.  My favorite part of course, was the end when he pulled his paper proof (AKA fake University of Phonix diploma written with a Sharpie in his car 5 minutes before the date) that he has a PhD but refused to show it to her unless she'd prove to him that she was really a woman. But how sad was I when he walked off into the sunset? Bravo, find a way to get him back in stat (or get some more Dwight scenes to fill this void).

For more Housewives/Bravo commentary,  check out Andy Cohen, Can We Twalk, RHOA 11/23 Check You and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Check You.

Real Houswevies of Atlanta (RHOA) Rundown - Check You

G-O-O-G-L-E Me... (no seriously, I need some search engine optimization for real up in here).

Season 3, Episode 8.  Ladies, I'm gonna have to check you.  Let's get to it...

Phaedra: 

• Please tell me this "lawyer" did not just say that the lady fingers are filled with "barbarian cream" what in the, WHAT?
• Phaedra, we aren't stupid.  In the early scenes, we know that you told your doctor and your husband to go along with this whole "36 weeks but full term" nonsense on camera because you're hiding a deep, dark soap opera secret about that baby.
• Admitting Nurse: "how many weeks are you?" Phaedra: "I don't know" hmmmm.......
• OOHHH!!! 28 min in and the doctor finally sells Phaedra out!!! "You're at 40 weeks" mmm hmmmmm. He couldn't lose sleep over these lies anymore (or he couldn't keep track)
• Favorite Phaedra quote (aside from barbarian cream): "The first time I looked at him, he just looked Chinese to me"

Kandi:

• 30 min. in and I still don't have anything interesting to write about Kandi yet. She's kind of like the glue that holds the storylines together but that's about it.

Nene:

• I love that Nene put on her best "Working Girl" Melanie Griffith shoulder-padded blazer and marched down to the local TV station to get herself a job.  Go on with your independent woman self Nene.
• Nene has celebrities on speed dial, just in case you didn't know. 
• Once you piss off Michael Lohan, you're pretty much black-balled. Guess Nene doesn't know that yet. 

Kim:

• Out of what gutter did you pick up that orange wig you dusted off and gave to Kandi???
• Just fyi, a high school biology class does not constitute a nursing degree
• Kim, why did your "can I smoke in the car?" (Kandi: "no") "then I ain't coming" make me laugh so hard I near fell off the couch? Kim is so relaxed but in your face about everything. My brain doesn't know how to make sense of it.

Sheree:

• Look at Sheree  talking up Tyee (of finger licking Tyee fame) because her ex-husband is in ear shot.  Obvious, but entertaining.
• Finally, 40 minutes in, Tyee shows up!! happy dance. Wait, what's up with his sandals? I mean, the fact that he's wearing sandals - with a blazer and trousers.
• Okay, is it just me or did you kinda feel bad for the feller as the entire group grilled him about this "Dr." nonsense. 
• BRB, going to get my online doctor certification at the Eastern Southern Illinois College.
• UPDATE: Forgot to mention I just read that damn Aston Martin Sheree flaunted up and down the streets this episode has already been repossessed. SMH

Closing thoughts:
Okay guys, I'm a Dr. now! Phew, it was a hard 7 minutes, but I persevered.  Just printed out my diploma and everything. 

• Favorite quote from upcoming scenes
• Dr Tyee (to Sheree): "prove that you're a woman"
• Lisa: I see what you did there. Your name isn't bolded here, but it sure looks like you're trying hard to get back into that status.....  

 For more Housewives/Bravo commentary, check out Andy Cohen, Can We Twalk and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Check You.