Cute Pug Honorably Defends Pizza

Hey... this is exactly how I feel when I get near pizza too! Watch as this adorable pug stands guard over two boxes of pizza.  

The Time I Almost Cried About The Axl Rose / Slash Feud AKA A Story About The Internet Vortex

So one night I was all sitting there thinking to mahself, "remember the song November Rain? That was like a really good  video." So I hopped on the old YouTube and watched the symphony of cinematographic perfection riding bitch with musical genius (sorrs, can't embed). Um, how much do we love the Slash-in-his-leather-chaps solo outside the church?  P.S. side note, I miss Axl Rose running around in white biker shorts.


But I digress.  Anyway,  then I got all nostalgy for Guns N' Roses and their Appetite for Destruction album so naturally I watched the Welcome to the Jungle video (which made me freak out inside thinking oh my gosh, I want to run to a Hollywood bus stop RIGHT NOW and scream at every teenage toehead to "GO BACK BEFORE THIS CITY EATS YOU UP!!!!!!!!!" But then I remember that Hollywood is an innocent underbelly these days full of falafel, Brent Bolthouse, the Kodak Theater and just a little bit of drugs and prostitution.


Then I watched the Sweet Child O' Mine video and  I was like, wasn't that chick in the SCOM video Axl's girlfriend back in the day?  And yes - turns out they were together for a minute (which means a long time in slang FYI)  she was also the daughter of one of the Everly Brothers (they sound familiar, and old - I don't feel like looking up their discography cause the digression is workin' at max levels)  but they broke up because ish got hectic, which doesn't surprise me given that, according to Wikipedia:  Rose and Everly were married on April 28, 1990 in Las Vegas. According to Everly, Rose had shown up at her home the previous day with a gun in his car and told her that he would kill himself if she did not marry him..


I mean, right?


Then I started getting even more upset that the band wasn't together anymore. Axl's childhood seemed sad you guys - and who doesn't meltdown in their 20s? Does that mean we all (AKA MANKIND) have to be robbed of musical nectar? Because, couldn't they see it? And then I tried to piece together the downfall.  So I got ta Wikipedia'ing again like a mofo.  And like, it turned out it was Axl vs. the rest of the band - as most fans already know.


And then I got all obseessed with finding footage of the last interviews of the band together, and then Slash and Axl interviews post breakup - cause every journalist in the WORLD asked them about each other everytime they granted a camera in their face.
Like,  more than Brad and Jen - epic proportions.   I don't exactly remember everything I learned from it.  If I recally correctly, at some point Slash was over it, and then Axl still wasn't.
 And blah blah blah Axl re-forms the band with a dude that has a KFC bucket on his head?? and so on.





Then I got all sidetracked because I never realized how cute Izzy Stradlin was - because he didn't seem that cute to me when I was a little kid when GNR came out.  But as an adult, I'm like Izzzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy.
So I started YouTubeing Izzy and he seemed pretty netural over the feud.  He just kind of got sick of everything and left the band.


This is my FAVE Izzy video of all time, because he seems so deep and nuanced... skip to 1:09 to  hear his wisdom:





Hey Izzy, sup?


My mind is exhausting right?  K, bye!

WTF??? Dog Crosses Eyes on Command

Move over Jim Carey/Adam Sandler/Paul Blart - there's a new sheriff in town.  You're not getting excited enough. Let me repeat, an effing DOG crosses his eyes on command. This is a game changer people.
Hollywood agents need to get off their asses and start a bidding war over this comedic gem. He'll work for virtually nothing and he knows how to take direction. Ladies and gentelemen, I present you with Chuckles (not really his name but I like it better - OK? Ugh, fine, he's Teddy the Cocker Spaniel):

12/1 - Some Things You Should Know

Here at Pay Attention To, or "PAT" (ambiguously sexy), we like to play around with new features, some turn into regulars and others we abandon like the hidden cupcake wrappers at the bottom of the trash screaming our shame.

Here's our first STYSK - a segment that tells you everything you need to know about the day - without having to do the rifling through the dirty interwebs yourselves:

• Bling Ring cog and former E! reality person (I can't say "star," sorry I just can't) Alexis Neiers has been arrested for alleged black tar heroin possession (see full story at LATimes)
• Chelsea Handler was on Jay Leno last night and had fun perpetuating unprompted f*ckery about herself and a certain half dollar rapper (see full episode at Hulu for limted time)
• Senate passed a new Food Safety Bill so that our bagged spinach doesn't try to kill us anymore (see full story at FitPerez yeah I coulda sourced some realer sh1t, but maybe this -sic- could actually make people care about their health) but what about all the nasty hormones and pesticides? I guess they can stay.
• Britney Spears' ex-husband Jason Alexander alleges (to Star Magazine, a periodical my mother purchases strictly for the crosswords - she swears) that Britney Spears told him her boyfriend beats her. The full story is at RadarOnline.
• I don't really know the full details about this mess because I refuse to read past the sub-head,  but something about Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband trying to expose some tape of her showing her privates in Cuba?  Man exes getting all types of bold today. Full story at RadarOnline.
• Senate Republicans tell the President they're taking their ball and going home if the Bush tax cuts don't stay (see story at Gawker).
• Google is close to launching an ebook store, adding to the growing list of behemoths (a la Amazon and Apple) getting in on the book game.  Do these people think Americans actually read? Read more via Consumerist.
• A bunch of self importants are going social media silent in the name of a good cause (World AIDS Day).  How much for them to never log on again?  See PSA on YouTube.
• Remember those ugly Teva sandals from the 90s? Remember how you wanted to scream in the faces of the dorks who wore them with socks? Well they're back. WITH HEELS. WTF WTF life as we know it is crumbling faster than you can say "curse of the Reefs and Birkenstocks, a new monster is born, it's multiplying, RUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN." More at the Daily What.

Here's a bonus, "Daily Throwback."  Remember when Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck had it out on The View in 07? (AKA the sh1t I live for) well I just spent all morning on YouTube rewatching Alicia Silverstone snub Elisabeth later on in that episode. Never gets old.

Just What We Need - A Self-Aware Spider

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife (too played out? I'm keeping it), it is officially the beginning of the end of the world.  Global warming, bedbugs, wars, swine flu etc etc and now a new feature to add to the foreshadowing of the apocalypse:

A self-aware spider.



This fool knows too much.  He (or she) has a presence, a personality.  Maybe he's just getting ready for his debut when the arachnids rule the world.

Brb, Googling "how to build a bomb shelter."

I Guess the Change in My Pocket Wasn't Enough... Top 5 FU Covers

Like everyone else, i'm uber-sessed with Cee-Lo Green's "F U" song. So of course I spent hours forcing myself on Youtube until she spit out cover after cover for me to judge. 
The diversity and range of folks, regions and styles covering the song speaks to its universal quality. <-- Did I just say that?  Ugh, I'm such a nerd. 

By the way, this project that made me feel extra old.  Why you ask? In almost every video starring a kid, they'll say the line "I guess he's an XBOX," then pause looking confused for the next few words (should say "and I'm more Atari"). THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE WORDS ARE BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ATARI IS.  Be right back, going to register for my AARP subscription. <P.S. I would provide links but that would mean more effort on my part. So you should look for yourself.>

Moving along, here are my Top 5 Picks of FU Covers.

5. A CA PELLA - BROWN UNIVERSITY JABBERWOCKS
I think you can understand why a group of Ivy League boys pouring their hearts out to me made the list. Plus, the a capella is on point. <--- look at me pretending to know something about music. Anyways, check out these guys doing their thing from what looks to be an eery little brick hallway somewhere in the bowels of Brown.



4. TEEN GIRL ACOUSTIC - GABERRZ
Something for the little teen girl in all of us.  The true angst of the song isn't quite there because, bless her, she probably hasn't truly joined the FU heartbreak club yet.  Good voice, like the song on acoustic. Panda hat is a bonus. Start at 1:44. 



3.  MONKEYING AROUND - MATT MULHOLLAND
Because every video should have a monkey puppet, clone band and backup dancers, a blue powder tuxedo jacket and a "Hit That" pinata t-shirt.  He managed to get a cranky, cynical insomniac to laugh at 5:30 in the morning. 



2. VIOLIN GUY - ERIC STANLEY
Amazing violin rendition is amazing. Because I love it when someone flips the script on us. Raise your hand if you think violin lessons are an uncool waste of time.  Eric Stanley proves you wrong bitches.  Brava.  (Put your hands down)



1. IAMBLINDSOWHAT (AKA JOEL)
Great singers these days are a dime a dozen.  Joel, a young blind man who asked his friend to set up a recording,  isn't the greatest singer so don't expect a jaw-dropping vocal performance. But when I watch him bare his soul, I am inspired to do shit - try to fulfill some of my own potential (which is grossly untapped due to complacency and laziness).  Even his name is awesome  Says it all. Take it away Joel...