Jersey Shore Judgements: The Emancipation of Snooki......'s Bladder

These are raw, unedited judgements I wrote down in sequence as I watched the show - Season 5 Episode 5:  

• How can we get Deena to stop "merp"ing? (My dog stops yelping if I give him cheese, so there's that)
• Is Mayor Roger doing the "dip" on JWOWW again?
• This was all of our faces when The Situation dropped the loyalty and betrayal tattoo bomb right?

• I feel the sads when I see the gang at Karma this time around.  I think it's because they didn't cut to a :05 shot of Sammi brawling on the floor.
• Why is Snooki calling a hooker's bath a "Shore shower?" Oh, never mind. 
• You know what?  I think we're all one of two things after the club:  a Deena eating Hot Pockets or a Vinny doing Push Ups.  Which on are you? I'm a Hot Pocket.
• After four seasons of Ronnie and Sammi drama, I have Stockholm syndrome.  So now I feel betrayed that they are glossing over these two - ON PURPOSE
• Why is Snooki sleeping in her shoes?  
• What's the picture below, you ask? Oh, just Snooki being Snooki (AKA throwing away her drawers because she pee'd herself in the club the night before. AND THEN SHE SLEPT IN THEM ALL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEFORE THROWING THEM AWAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• It's a little sad when Deena's only running story line is "hair problems" 
• Miikee?  Mike? Miiiiiiiiiiiiike? What are you up to? What are you up to?
• Ohhhhhhh, so "Janx" is "Jenkinson's?" Mystery solved.
• Mike: "I'm actually like a native to this area." How far is Janx from the Shore?  Is this like a Scooby Doo alternate universe to the gang?
• Snooki has fully transformed into the family pet - piddling on the deck outside.  Bad Snooki! bad!

• Serious question: Why were the scrambling Situation's pubic area when he was wearing shorts?
• Never mind, thank you JWOWW for solving the mystery.  Follow up question - why were Snooki and Deena acting all normal while Mike's "situation" was hanging out of his shorts?
• Hold up, wait a minute - what is this country cottage, shabby chic, Laura Ashley sitting area Mike and Snooki just landed in? Is this part  of the Scooby Doo alternate universe at the house?

• Why are all those sneakers always lined up in rows in the living room?
• What the?

• Ok, so Snooki ACTUALLY IS the family pet now - not just metaphorically speaking.  Interesting. Did Kafka write this episode?

• How excited is Mike to tell JWOWW he saw Mayor Roger? He loves being an information trafficker.  
• What was that weird gyrating dance Mike was doing at the end when he was talking to Unit?  Hmmmmmmmm.

• Wait, how is it that Mike loves Snooki and they're BFF and all of a sudden he says she's the ringleader against him?  Oh, I think I know - MTV Production had a chat with him.  I see what you did there MTV.
• In conclusion, who saw Snooki and JWOWW on BravoAndy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live?  Was JWOWW's face even more plasticized?  It wasn't moving right or something.  But I really want to like her - she's pretty, she just needs to stop messing with what she got, ya heard?

The Snooki/Situation Situation - MYSTERY SOLVED

In the most recent episode of Jersey Shore, we see that accusations are flying left and right between Snooki and Situation.

He says they were "together" while she was with Jionni (her boyfriend).  She VEHEMENTLY denies it all and says he's lying about everything.  Neither is budging, and it's hard to decipher who is telling the truth.  Each has a motive to lie:

• Snooks loves her boyfriend and will lose a relationship if it comes out that she cheated
• Situation has status to gain via a (fabricated or real) Snooki  love storyline since her star status is head and shoulders above all the other Jersey Shore stars

So which is it? Who is lying?  Well, there's a "tell" in the episode that swings the favor into Situation's court.  So what's the tell?  Believe it or not, it lies with the very person who was attempting to protect Snooki - JWOWW.

When Ronnie brings up the rumor, JWOWW's face reveals that she immediately recognizes the story as if she already has prior knowledge of an incident between Mike and Snooki. She then goes to tell Snooki and says something to the effect of  (paraphrasing) "Mike told everyone what happened between the two of you" - MEANING SOMETHING DID HAPPEN.  AND SNOOKI REACTED IMMEDIATELY - instead of saying "what happened between me and Mike?" she started flipping out right away. Innocents don't react like that, dontcha think?

So there, problem solved. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Jersey Shore - What Happened Last Night????

Needs more Arvin!! Please tell me someone sent him on a cargo plane straight to Italy sometime in this mess of a season.

Ok, first things first.  Who else feels like Situation is into Snooki because she's basically transformed into a LEGIT real life A list star?  I don't think he would have ever been into her (except to use her for a night) in the past.  But now, I think he sees a gravy train.  How creepy was the scene when she was bickering with Super Mario Jionni on the phone and he was just STANDING THERE.  Like a big creep.  Just eavesdropping and reveling in the fact that they were arguing. READY TO POUNCE. Ew. SO SHADY. 

The whole Deena/Pauly thing is kinda sad.  Like - we've all been there when we're drunk from infatuation and refuse to see the SIGNS that HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.  Please tell me someone made a gif of the scene last week when they were "kissing" and Pauly had the saddest, most pained expression on his face.  Poor guy had to pretend he was sleeping to escape her.  P.S. Deena, we predict your tiger stripe tan lines will be the newest trend - kinda go with the tiger stripe hair....

So I was half right about Ronnie and Sammi hooking up by episode 2.  They didn't exactly "hook up" yet, but all the seeds have been planted.  Meanwhile, how HIGH SCHOOL MEAN is Ronnie - bragging about all the women he's bedded right in front of the poor girl.  I mean, Ronnie, she "magically grew" tatas for you right before Italy.  Why would you be so excited to BREAK SOMEONE who has that much love for you?  Oy, this guy - I just don't get it. 

The pizza job orientation scene was kinda lame.  MTV, who are we kidding here? We're still going with this whole "job" thing?  Is it really necessary?  THIS ISN'T REAL WORLD SEASON 2.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO MANUFACTURE CONFLICT.  It's already there! They're from Jersey, drama is their food.  They can't live without it. 

Um, what else.  I feel a little like deja vu watching this season.  Lot of the same old horse tricks.  Meh. Did I miss anything?

Jersey Shore Ronnie's New Car!

Check out Ronnie's (AKA Agro Magro - yes we just made that up and we thing it's the most genius thing ever created by our minds) new car.

He just tweeted "Check out the new ride!" w/this pic.  Frankly, I was expecting a Bentley like Situation bought last year.  And why does it already have plates? Does that mean it's a used one at that?

Gotta say, Agro Magro, we're impressed if you're actually being SMART with your money by buying a nice, but modest and gently used car.  Other reality stars could learn a thing or two from you! Well, not the whole destroying your girlfriend's property into oblivion.  But definitely this! Baby steps.

Jersey Shore Season 4 ITALY - First Show - IMPRESSIONS

- first of ollllllll - how are we feeling about these Stacker 2 - 6 hour power energy shots commercials with Deena and Sammi? Basically, you know some MTV Ad Sales exec sold the ad space and promised Sitch and Snooki to the Stacker 2 guys, and pulled the old bait and switch w/the bottom 2.

OK - Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way.  WE'RE ALREADY PRETTY SURE  SAMMI had breast implants (ALLEGEDLY) -we cracked that code back in February before they even left for Italy.  See here.  So why is she being all coy? Pretending like she hasn't had them when Nicole says they she should be getting implants together?  And Sammi, don't think we didn't notice you asking the boobie pro JWOWW all those implant maintenance questions.  Mmmmm hmmmmmmm.

Second of olllllllllll - WTF about Situation and Snooki?  Sex?????????? But but, what about little Super Mario Brother Jionni? We love him. Memba this???

The lil ones were happy and snorkeling once upon a time.
Anyhoozles, we're gonna have to side with Ron and NOT BELIEVE SITCH'S LYING A$$.   SERIOUSLY, DUB TEA EFF.  And how creepy was Mike kissin on Snooks in the club?   Where's Ronnie creepin' behind the plant when you need one?  Oh Hai Ron....

Eww can we talk about the pigeons for a sec?  No not Deena, (just kiddin' Deena girl, call me, we'll hang out at the Strip Mawl) actual pigeons - how much did that scene give me a flashback of being in Florence, San Marcos Square  when they swooped down and stole my $60 snack right out of my little 7 year old paw.  Trauma.

Oh yeah, what's the over under on when Sammi and Ronnie are gonna get back together?  We say by episode 2 at the latest.

Whadya you guys all think??????????

Um, Hi, Is It Possible To Wait ANY Longer For Jersey Shore?

Friends, Foes, Insignificants:

I ask you, how much longer must we wait for Jersey Shore to get started???  I mean, really - Real Housewives has managed to fill the void a little bit, but BARELY.  I even resorted to watching MTV's The Challenge again last week (every season I tell myself it's the last one - dang you Kenny and Wes!!!!!) and if it wasn't for CT's adonis DNA, it would barely be worthy as background sound whilst I surf the InterWebs.

CT  daydream break - Ahhhhh, those dreamy baby blues..... that Boston swagger....

Ugh that was so suburbs of me.

Anywhoozles,  at least we had Snooki dancing with a plant to tie us over this week.  I mean, if you think about it really, that was like the equivalent of an entire episode in and of itself.  Amirite or amirite????

BTW, who DIDN't think Sammi and Ronnie were going to get back together THE SECOND they were in Italy?  You should have your IQ checked.

Oh yeah, and then there's that whole Vinny leaving thing.  Like we didn't know he was going to come back a week later with his tail between his legs.

Prediction: Reason Vinny left?  Head got too big, attitude too douchey for even The Sitch to deal with.

P.S., while we're on the subject of The Situation.  Mike, please tell your brother to stop Tweeting on your account like every 5 minutes promoting every product slap you got?  So obvs.  Easy bro.

Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie Looked Very Together Leaving Seaside (Season 3). So Was MTV Lying To Us?

 

Store this one in the "shaking my head" file.  The - dare I say it - underwhelming Jersey Shore finale left me more confused than usual. Sure the story lines were all tied up in a pretty bow - JWOWW got her man, Vinny found his inner douche, Mike was the town gossip, Team Meatball was in full effect, and Sammi and Ronnie were "over" for good. But was it REAL?

The entire time I was watching it, I kept thinking everything seemed more  "produced" than ever before.   But something very specific was gnawing at me, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

UNTIL TODAY!

I woke up in a cold sweat, slapping my forehead.  "Ah, yes" I screamed to myself.  "The photos!!!!!"

A little background: one of the downfalls of being a successful reality show is the paparazzi attention. By the time Season 3 came around for Jersey Shore, the photogs and fans with camera phones were ever-present.  Surely a thorn in the side of MTV.  If you've ever seen the raw footage from fan cell phones on YouTube or TMZ type coverage of the kids on the Shore last summer, you saw in actuality that they had throngs of fans screaming their names everywhere they went. So you know the editors and sound guys did a lot of extra work to make it look like the JS cast were still normal kids having a typical Seaside experience.

Cut to sometime in September 2010 when I was perusing one of my favorite blogs, "A Socialite's Life."  There were 40+ images (via WENN photo agency) featuring the cast bidding farewell to the shore house.  KABLAMO - here's Exhibit A, B, C through Z to prove that Sammi and Ronnie did not leave the house in the way that MTV lead us to believe - a screenshot from ASL  (visit the site to see the full gallery):  

As you can see, Sammi and Ronnie were hugging and even kissing goodbye.  They sure looked together, or at the very least on good terms to us.  As we also told you (way before the gossip rags), they eventually had a more permanent "break-up" in January.

Here's my guess as to what happened.  Given that Sammi and Ronnie broke up in January, the post-production team soon after cut a finale that showed a permanent break up to catch up with time.  That way, the Reunion special would be more current.  Mmmm Hmmmm, we see what you did there M(anipulation)TV.

October 2011 Update on Ronnie and Sammi's Relationship!

Jersey Shore Reunion: Is Everyone Mad at Mike?

Source: Facebook

The JS crew is in Los Angeles this weekend filming the Jersey Shore Season 3 Reunion, and sources allege that Mike is pretty much the outcast of the group.

Although Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is right up there with Snooki as the biggest Jersey Shore resident, his popularity with the roommates is an entirely different "situation."  If you've watched any of the Jersey Shore Hook-Ups or After Shows lately, you've surely seen the roomies get more and more eye-rolley about him. Even in recent episodes, the Gang is beginning to piece together the fact that Mike has instigated nearly every house controversy.

We predict that Sorrentino will be hated on heavily throughout the Reunion (kind of like he was in the Season 1 Reunion, but worse).  We're also betting that normally neutral DJ Pauly D may even get in on the action.

What do you think?  Do you get the same feeling?

It's JERSDAY!!!! - Our Prep Ritual PLUS Updates on the Jersey Shore Gang

Jersday is heeeeeeyah.  Creepy Ronnie behind the plant (kudos to the cameraman who couldn't have staged a better shot if he tried) invites you in....

We do a lot of prep on Jersdays before we can comfortably sit down on the couch and revel in the crazy shenanigans of our favorite Guidos and Guidettes:

1. We gotta get our hoop earrings on, so we can take them off all dramatic to signal "we about to throw down" when someone in our "viewing party" (AKA our dog) tries to talk (AKA bark) too loud during the episode.
2. We dust off our bunny slippers and throw them on, along with our hottest leopard print dress, which we've been wearing since Tuesday.
3. We gotta make sure we've watched all the current Jersey Shore Dailies.  We study these tapes with the aplomb of a Fox News body language expert cause sometimes there are hidden signs of foreboding.  We use this knowledge to back up the smug "we knew that was going to happen" look on our face to the envy, nay jealousy, of all our friends we're watching with (see #1 for a list of said friends). 
4. And very soon (fingers crossed by next week) we'll be throwin' our Pajama Jeans into the Jersday Prep wardrobe rotation.  

So anyway, here's your Jersey Shore roundup to catch you up on what the gang's been up to this week (in real life time):

• Mike the situation (<-- tersely not capitalized, cause you know, it's Mike) is using Rosetta Stone to learn Italian before leaving to Italy for Season 4.
• JWOWW is still doing the rounds for her "book" (AKA pamphlet) tour.  Today, Access Hollywood Live put her on the spot about whether current beau Roger was "the one."  Barf.  P.S. if anyone reading this has actually bought and read her book, please send us an email (payattentiontoblog@gmail.com) so we can do an interview with you for the site.
• Snooki hosted the MTV Grammy show and spent some QT Valentine's time with her man Jionni.  Apparently, her ex, Emilio, did something obnoxious this week but we were too uninterested to look it up.
• DJ Pauly D did some Grammy hosting too we think.  He's just all over the place DJing and what not (we think, didn't really spend too much time on our Pauly research this week since it's always the same ol' with him DJing in Vegas, NY, NJ, Rhode Island, Canada etc... etc...)
• Vinny is kind of getting grosser and grosser on his Twitter, in only what we can assume is a cry for attention. 
• Sammi is transmitting Twitter pic after pic of shots that showcase her (possibly newly purchased) breasts.  Most recently one in a car on the way to the Bebe fashion show taken from a very convenient angle. They kind of scream desperation to the outside world,  but we think she thinks they'll make Ronnie "eat his heart out."
• Meanwhile, Ronnie's still hawking Xenadrine, and promoting some Playboy Radio interview in what we can only imagine is an attempt for Sammi to "eat her heart out."  Oy these two. 

P.S. the old news one, AKA Angelina, apparently got engaged this week.  Yawn.

P.P.S. Stop creepin behind the plant like Ronnie and leave a comment!!!!!!!!!!!  It's just one click below and you can do it anonymously! Or send us an email about what we should blog on next (payattentiontoblog@gmail.com).

P.P.P.S. For more Jersey Shore stories, click here

Be Careful, Ronnie's Behind The Plant... Watching

For more Jersey Shore stories, click here

Too. Excited. To. [FILL IN BLANK, breathe, work, eat, talk shit etc. etc.] Jersey Shore 3 & RHOBH Tonight!!!

I'm having a full on Jessie Spano moment right now - I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so so scaaaaareed!!! 



I've been waiting weeks - nay months - nay, my whole life for this.  Jersey Shore is finally back for a third season that promises to be EPIC (<---- read that like annoying frat douche, that's the emphasis I need you to put on the word epic to really grasp the meaning of the sentence).  PLUS, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills back tonight after a mini-hiatus. 

image via giggythepom.com. NO I'M NOT KIDDING
GIGGY HAS A WEB SITE. I'm excited and
scared all over again. BRB, going to make pocorn and
devour the site in its entirety.

By the by, RHOBH is on at 9 tonight - assumingly b/c Bravo is scurred of JS3. As well they should be.  But phew, we really dodged a Sophie's Choice bullet there. I mean amirite or amirite?

Oh, and part two, who else heard that the RHOBH reunion that was just filmed a couple days ago was also crazy epic (<-- again, Sig Ep douche circa 2002 voice, give it all you got)??? Supposably Camille has since said she's quttin that shit.  I mean come on, we all know she was probably hated on for 3 hours straight on some Bravo rented couch at Villa Blanca for the reunion so, yeah there's that. But I really think we need to petition to bring her back.  That show would be surriously burring without her. (sorry for all the urrrr's replacing the middles of real words. that's the mood I'm in.  You know, the kind of mood where you run around telling everyone you're gettin' your hurrr did, and then take it too far with every other word?  And no, I'm not even getting my hurr did but.... minor details).

Um, hi, by the way why was I the last to find out that Camille was (allegedly) a rent-a-woman for like the Sultan of Brunei or something like that?  It's actually on her Wikipedia page (ugh too lazy to find link - stop being such a sloth and Google it).  Dang I missed class that day.  And here I am posing as a  media mogul over here.  Shame on me.

 P.S. I hear Snooki's getting a big-head (ha! just realized the irony of the sentence, but I'm talking figuratively) with all this fame.  Exhibit A: she only wants to be called Nicole now since she's a serious published author. Exhibit B: she was on Access Hollywood Live hating on The Situation and the fact that he did Dancing With The Stars becuase the show is for has beens.  Eekk Snoozi I was really routing for ya, but I don't know anymore. Once someone gets the humble knocked out of them, we're pretty much all gonna drink the haterade.  G'luck sneezy. 

Jailbird Snooki will see you out now.



image via NYPost.com



Did Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie Just Break Up for the Millionth Time?

[PSST: Want More Low Down on Jersey Shore Favorites? Check Out: Snooki's Bizarre YouTube Videos; What's Up With Jersey Fashion?]

For an October 2011 Update on Ron and Sam - Check Out Our Story Update Here

Who can keep up with the rocky relationship of Jersey Shore's Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and her loverboy Ronnie Magro? (Apparently she can't even keep up with him from the looks of the pic above - ugh has anyone ever had a boyfriend who walked ahead of you like this? Red flag. Red flag.) Surely they have carpal tunnel syndrome by now from making endless Facebook relationship status flip-flops.

Well, it seems like they've just broken up again. Here's the bloody trail of evidence:

Chapter 1. Twitter

Just up until around New Year's Eve RoSam seemed to be on again and quite happy as any religous follower of their Twitter accounts could attest to.

Sammi even tweeted this picture on January 3:


@MTVSammi: New years eve in times square was sickkk this year! :) @MTVRonnie

Everything was right and in it's place and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Phew!!!

But ...

then......

January 4th came. Somewhere in Siberia a butterfly fluttered its wings.

This seemingly innocent act would set off a vicious chain of events ending halfway across the world. And just like that, as the world slept, temperatures plummeted in Hazlet, NJ and the Bronx, NY (the hometowns of our modern day Ms. Capulet and Mr. Montague).

At approximately 1:36 AM eastern time (pacific time shown below - and please read this in a daunting Dateline voiceover voice), Ronnie posted this on his Twitter:

Later that afternoon, as Sammi awoke from her daily 23 hour cocooned slumber, she shot off with:

What was going on? Any seasoned anthropological researcher of Jersey Shore (that's what we all call ourselves to feel just a little bit better about our unhealthy obsessions right?) can tell you, these two aren't subtle when it comes to their emotions, especially when it comes to breaking up.

BUT MTV keeps a tight leash on these carnies when it comes to revealing modern day truths. Thusly, they are relegated to "blinking in code."

Like that of DaVinci, the code of a Guido is not easily cracked. It took a legion of MTV publicists working round the clock, but they were able to construct a cipher that would reveal the true meaning of the Guido words. Either that or MTV was downwind and they smelled some Jersey farts.

Damage control ensued as Sammi quickly deleted an original follow-up post that said something to the effect of "everything happens for a reason."

Ronnie also re-surfaced blowing off his previous tweet:

But the reconnaisance isn't working. We cannot unknow that which is known. RoSam is no longer....this week.

UPDATE BREAKING NEWS AT 8:34 EASTERN TIME (1/6): Ronnie is no longer following Sammi on Twitter (though he was earlier today). Hate to say I told you so but I have a really smug look on my face soo....... Anyway, story developing.

UPDATE 1/8: More confirmation that it's over.

1. Sammi is no longer following Ronnie on Twitter.
2. Also Ronnie is doing more blinking in code by letting his "ReTweets" speak for him (AKA this way he doesn't have to take responsibility for the quotes and hence get in trouble with MTV. A thinly veiled ploy, but good for us readers). Here are some of them:

There's the "confirmation of Single Ronnie" ReTweets:

There's the flirty ReTweets (kinda like the Twatter version of the middle school jilted lover hallway drama you pulled back in the day when your ex was walking by)

And finally, there's the "shit talking" about Sammi he's so clearly endorsing:



All is relatively quiet in Sammi Twitville.

Sammi - who left L.A. earlier than the other Cast Members (mmm hmmmm, wonder why) perked up early 1/9 to say this:

Meanwhile, incoming: Yes I know I'm a loser and I have no life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.

Chapter 2. GMA
Let's see what happened this morning on GMA when these two had to get together for promotional interviews in advance of the Season 3 premiere tonight.

We all know that during any public appearance, when Sam and Ron are happy and together, they sit side-by-side. So today, what did the seating setup reveal? The two were in DIFFERENT ROWS.

To the un-trained anthropologist (AKA, folks that just started watching in Season 2, or worse yet, last weekend's loopng marathon - ha, NOOBS), it would appear as though this was merely due to the fact that they were assigned to sit by gender. But I call bull-shizz. You know that Sammi probably made her lemon face backstage, getting publicists and managers involved until the seating plans were quickly re-arranged to keep these two apart.

Fast forawrd, halfway through the interview, Robin Roberts AKA the voice of America stood up for the people and.....



.... point blanc asked the boo-some two-some whether they were on or off this particular nano-second.

Here's what they had to say:


"What time is it?" (said Ronnie, looking at his watch, making a joke of their dysfunctional union). He went on to say:

"Me and Sam are working through some stuff right now. We're still talking and we'll see what happens."

If I were to read between those lines, I'd guess that Ronnie was the one who messed up (or got caught) on Jan. 4. Juss sayin.



Sammi also chimed in with:

"I think you should watch the show to really get a feel of how our relationship pans out."

Bitch, we all know the season ended 3 months ago, and we all saw the tabloid shots of you and Ronnie happily leaving Seaside together. That's how that "panned out." Puh-leeze (in my best Danielle Staub voice) that shit's old news.

An HDTV and 50 rewinds later dear Sammi, our expert eyes caught a whisper of tears developing in your eyes as you recited your rehearsed talking points. Yes, yes. That's the Jan 2011 truth right there.

mmm hmmmm, Sammi/Ronnie, we see what you (and the MTV publicists behind you) did there.

Wanna know my next prediction? The two of you will be "back on" by the end of today's endless publicity blitz.


Sure during the first appearance at GMA you were probably staring daggers at each other backstage, but we've all been to a 7th grade dance. Step 2 is for the whispers and the gossiping between the boy and girl cliques, leading up to a confrontation in the bathroom. But alas, these heated exhanges eventually lead to making up. So please accept my "congratulations" in advance.

UPDATE: So I thought they would be back together by now - BUT THEY'RE NOT! However, we've all seen this episode before, so there's THAT.

Got more info? Or Feedback? Send an e-mail to PayAttentionToBlog@Gmail.com OR Leave a comment below.

Moving on....

Party's heeeeeyaaaaaa If I can get up the energy, I'll try to do some liveblogging for the season premiere. You've sent me a ton of email requests but it's haaarrrrrrddddddddddddd you guyyyyeeeezzzzz. I'll try to carbo-load and we'll take it from there.

UPDATE: didn't happen. Whhoopsie.

P.S. On Regis and Kelly - Reeg referred to Snooki as "Snoozi," which was pretty damn funny. Rest was uneventful, that's all you need to know.

P.P.S. Back to GMA, did anyone else notice that JWOWW's lips looked bigger than usual? Please don't tell me she's doing those dang nasty trout pout injections. Somebody get JWOWW a copy of RHOBH stat!!!! Otherwise, this won't end well.

Hungry for more Jersey Shore? Find out more about the "side characters" that make the show.