Jersey Shore - What Happened Last Night????

Needs more Arvin!! Please tell me someone sent him on a cargo plane straight to Italy sometime in this mess of a season.

Ok, first things first.  Who else feels like Situation is into Snooki because she's basically transformed into a LEGIT real life A list star?  I don't think he would have ever been into her (except to use her for a night) in the past.  But now, I think he sees a gravy train.  How creepy was the scene when she was bickering with Super Mario Jionni on the phone and he was just STANDING THERE.  Like a big creep.  Just eavesdropping and reveling in the fact that they were arguing. READY TO POUNCE. Ew. SO SHADY. 

The whole Deena/Pauly thing is kinda sad.  Like - we've all been there when we're drunk from infatuation and refuse to see the SIGNS that HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.  Please tell me someone made a gif of the scene last week when they were "kissing" and Pauly had the saddest, most pained expression on his face.  Poor guy had to pretend he was sleeping to escape her.  P.S. Deena, we predict your tiger stripe tan lines will be the newest trend - kinda go with the tiger stripe hair....

So I was half right about Ronnie and Sammi hooking up by episode 2.  They didn't exactly "hook up" yet, but all the seeds have been planted.  Meanwhile, how HIGH SCHOOL MEAN is Ronnie - bragging about all the women he's bedded right in front of the poor girl.  I mean, Ronnie, she "magically grew" tatas for you right before Italy.  Why would you be so excited to BREAK SOMEONE who has that much love for you?  Oy, this guy - I just don't get it. 

The pizza job orientation scene was kinda lame.  MTV, who are we kidding here? We're still going with this whole "job" thing?  Is it really necessary?  THIS ISN'T REAL WORLD SEASON 2.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO MANUFACTURE CONFLICT.  It's already there! They're from Jersey, drama is their food.  They can't live without it. 

Um, what else.  I feel a little like deja vu watching this season.  Lot of the same old horse tricks.  Meh. Did I miss anything?

Jersey Shore Season 4 ITALY - First Show - IMPRESSIONS

- first of ollllllll - how are we feeling about these Stacker 2 - 6 hour power energy shots commercials with Deena and Sammi? Basically, you know some MTV Ad Sales exec sold the ad space and promised Sitch and Snooki to the Stacker 2 guys, and pulled the old bait and switch w/the bottom 2.

OK - Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way.  WE'RE ALREADY PRETTY SURE  SAMMI had breast implants (ALLEGEDLY) -we cracked that code back in February before they even left for Italy.  See here.  So why is she being all coy? Pretending like she hasn't had them when Nicole says they she should be getting implants together?  And Sammi, don't think we didn't notice you asking the boobie pro JWOWW all those implant maintenance questions.  Mmmmm hmmmmmmm.

Second of olllllllllll - WTF about Situation and Snooki?  Sex?????????? But but, what about little Super Mario Brother Jionni? We love him. Memba this???

The lil ones were happy and snorkeling once upon a time.
Anyhoozles, we're gonna have to side with Ron and NOT BELIEVE SITCH'S LYING A$$.   SERIOUSLY, DUB TEA EFF.  And how creepy was Mike kissin on Snooks in the club?   Where's Ronnie creepin' behind the plant when you need one?  Oh Hai Ron....

Eww can we talk about the pigeons for a sec?  No not Deena, (just kiddin' Deena girl, call me, we'll hang out at the Strip Mawl) actual pigeons - how much did that scene give me a flashback of being in Florence, San Marcos Square  when they swooped down and stole my $60 snack right out of my little 7 year old paw.  Trauma.

Oh yeah, what's the over under on when Sammi and Ronnie are gonna get back together?  We say by episode 2 at the latest.

Whadya you guys all think??????????

Jersey Shore Dreams Into Reality: Featuring Deena and DJ Pauly D

Did you ever just sit there and think to yourself: "I really wish I could see Deena Nicole Cortese making clown-style balloon animals while sharing deep thoughts on relationships with DJ Pauly D?"

Well guess what?  That doesn't just have to be a dream anymore!  You've wished it into reality!!




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