Have You Watched CANDIDLY NICOLE? Werq It Ms. Richie.

And you're all like... heh? 

Candidly Nicole is actually this little web series on AOL which sounds like a joke because it's not 1997 and CD-ROMS are now ironic coasters that used to have purpose and meaning in this crazy mixed up world like NY Seltzer, Mark Harmon, Teddy Ruxpins and Bonkers. 

But back to Nicole Richie who is just love and silliness and a conundrum of proportions (I mean really, how could you be 5'1" and that long and lanky at the same time?) all mixed up into one. In the series, Nicole kind of just seemingly goes where the wind blows her. In one episode she's hanging with RuPaul to get tips on fierceness, in another she's with her dad and little sister (who, P.S., is seriously looking like a future trendsetter in her own right) goofing off in the garden. 

Here she is in the first episode pondering the removal of her "tramp stamp:"

The real centerpiece here has nothing to do with the setting or the topic, it's Nicole's larger than life personality. We already knew, from that reality show with Paris back in the day, that Nicole is humorous and has no filter, but girlfriend has blossomed in the years she's been away from the reality circuit. She is a legit comedienne who can mix well with any subject and bring light and laughter into any room. Each episode is only five minutes-ish, but hopefully this will lead to bigger and better for her because I could seriously watch Nicole all day long. 

P.S. I am SO sick of hashtags outside of Twitter and Instagram. AND WHILE WE'RE ON THAT: NEVER, EVER, EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES UTTER THE WORDS "HASHTAG CRAY" IN A SENTENCE. PLEASE  BABIES, JUST PROMISE ME THAT. DANNY GLOVER WILL EXPLAIN WHY:

OH HAI! It's Been a While! Here's a Baby Alpaca and Yorkie Kissing! K BAI!!!!

Watching The Mars Rover Thingy - So Far Favorite Part Is Fauxhawk Dude

So, I'm sittin' here bored on a Sunday night, and decided to check out this WALL-E landing on Mars (AKA Mars Curiosity AKA Mars Rover) coverage stuff - to tab to every now and then as I watch the NEVERENDING EXCITEMENT OF THE CORGI CAM. Okay, nothing blog worthy...

But then - I check out the Live Stream.   Okay, just some NASA lookin' dudes in a Mission Control setting,nothin' much to see here yet... BUT HEY!!! WHOA! who's the FauxHawk dude? With stars shaved into the side of his head no less!?

So many questions!

How did he get NASA to hire him? Or did he have normal hair before? And then, knowing he'd be front and center tonight decide to shave it up so he could stand out in the broadcast and become a Trending Twitter topic? Was there a big FauxHawk controversy before they went live? Did they threaten to take him out of the shot?

Or maybe, just maybe, NASA decided to hire some Hollywood agency to hip up their image - and this was what they came up with?

Brillz.

Doesn't Denise Richards Remember What Happened Last Time She and Charlie Went To NY With Their Girls?

Hope they have an UNeventful trip!

o rly chet? Chet Haze is a Pop Star Now (but he can still demolish you in a rap battle)

So I guess this is his new pop song?  Thoughts?

Oracle CEO Buying Hawaiian Island (Well, Most of It)

You know when you hear about rich people buying an island and you're all - "must be nice," but it's always some obscure island like in the South Pacific or somewhere?  Still an amazing feat, but pretty small potatoes if you ask Oracle CEO Larry Ellison who is buying ALMOST THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF LANAI (HAWAII'S 6TH LARGEST ISLAND)!!!

Steve Martin Makes Light Of Alec Baldwin Incident With Humorous Tweet

Okay - so do I really need to recap what's been going on with Alec Baldwin lately?  There was an incident with a photographer, yadda yadda, you've heard this before right?

Anyhoo...... the always hilarious Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) had this to say just now on the Twitter:

LOLOLOLOLOLO good one Steve.

Adam Carolla Says Women Not As Funny As Men, Twitter-verse Explodes

Time to report another "Adam Carolla offended someone" story. In a recent interview with the NY Post, homie shot funny women down, saying:

...they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff. The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

When asked if he was worried about the reaction he would get, Adam went on to say:

I don’t care. When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds. When it comes to comedy, of course there’s Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, Kathy Griffin — super-funny chicks. But if you’re playing the odds? No.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was? Honestly.

Well, needless to say, many comedians and other notable folks (male and female) WERE offended, and they got on the Twitters in droves. Here's a taste of the reaction:

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Roseanne Barr ‏@TheRealRoseanne

I think all comics are funny, even adam carolla-actually-everyone has at least three good minutes-

Chris Franjola ‏@ChrisFranjola

I work with hilarious men and WOMEN everyday. #adamcarolla

Dave Holmes @DaveHolmes

Why are we ruining our perfect not caring what Adam Carolla thinks streak?

Lena Dunham ‏@lenadunham

Wait, Adam Carolla, is he the one who did the voice of the parrot in Aladdin??? He makes me giggle.

Neal Brennan ‏@nealbrennan

Thank-you, Adam Corolla. Your terribleness gives all of us the opportunity to scream how NOT TERRIBLE we are!! YAY!

Molly McAleer ‏@molls

I don't take Adam Carolla saying women aren't funny seriously. He once told a caller on Loveline to eat a used tampon, y'know?

Molly @Molls also RT'd this gem from @calehartmann

"Women drive funny." -Toyota Corolla

The Onion @TheOnion

Parasite Regrets Choosing Adam Carolla As Host

Paula Pell ‏@perlapell

I'm less offended by Adam Corolla's comments than I am super impressed that he came here in a time machine to speak to us from the 80's.

Even Adam's podcast sidekick, Alison Rosen, had this to say in a blog post on her website today:

"Adam Carolla is getting some guff because of recent comments he made about women not being all that funny. I know he thinks I’m funny so therefore I’ve deduced he doesn’t think I’m a woman."

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The reason Adam has been in the spotlight so much lately is because he's promoting a book. Though I wonder if insulting half the population is the right way to try to sell it? I mean, think about it - his hardcore followers, who likely agree with his comments, will probably buy his book anyway. So wouldn't he want to appeal to more people so they'll actually buy it too?

But guess what, he could also have a bestseller on his hands. I read a Tweet from Adam on June 14 saying his book actually topped 50 Shades of Grey on iTunes. So there's that. The real question is, since today, will his sales shoot through the roof or take a dive? What do you think?

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Did Jacqueline Laurita Claim Teresa Giudice Caught Joe Cheating? Was It In Retaliation To Teresa Implying Jacqueline's Husband Was Cheating?

[This post is brought to you by Teresa's Season 1 hair]

Yes another RHONJ story. Something new just came to my attention. It starts again with the RHONJ women's Bravo blogs - well, one in particular - of course, Teresa. In it, she made a very salacious implication with her word choices.  Teresa wrote, (almost in blind item format):

Let me see if I can use an analogy Jacqueline might understand: if you caught your husband flirting with your friend, you would be understandably crushed. Say you worked through it for months though and forgave him. Then you found out he really didn’t just flirt, he slept with her. Two years ago. Does your old forgiveness count?

My first thought was, did Jacqueline's husband cheat on her? We don't know enough to go on this small implication alone. I read it earlier today - and it certainly had me take pause - but wasn't enough to even write a small post about, so I went on with my day. Later on, I saw Jacqueline Tweet:

And I thought to myself - what was this hateful Tweet she wrote?  Surely it had to be either about Teresa's WWHL appearance, or her blog post.  So I got to some investigatin'.

A simple search of fan  RTs that may have caught it prior to deletion turned up the ALLEGED (I have no way of verifying it) original Tweet.  Since the wording has slight variations in the 3 RTs that went out prior to Jacqueline's deletion, I'm posting a screenshot of the RTs rather than transcribing it -so you can judge for yourselves.  It appears that some folks eliminated a small word or two - my guess is it was done to be able to RT the entire thing as RTs takes up more characters than original Tweets:

So you get the gist.  So many more questions than answers.  If this was indeed the deleted Tweet, Jacqueline is straight up claiming Joe cheated on Teresa and Tre caught him.  In addition, we also know that Teresa has a pattern of projecting her problems/misfortunes/shortcomings onto other people.  For example, she's calling everyone around her crazy instead of examining her own unstable behavior.  She also seems pretty quick to point out other people's money problems to deflect from her own bankruptcy.  Was this why she stitched the analogy into her blog post?

Anyway, pretty heavy stuff. Do you think Joe cheated on Teresa?  Do you think Jacqueline's husband would cheat on her?  Or do you think that was just a dirty trick planted by Teresa? 

Real Housewives of New Jersey's Jacqueline Laurita Says Teresa Giudice Does Not Write Her Own Show Blogs

Any devout follower of the Real Housewives franchise - such as moi-self - is aware of the ladies' show blogs on the Bravo website.  Basically, after a show airs, the wives will publish a blog entry reflecting on the episode.

I used to read these pretty regularly, but you know, things get old.  Well, on last night's RHONJ, Jacqueline and Teresa got in a friendship-ending scuffle on the deck of Jacqueline's manor, which I really don't feel like recapping here because it's so ridiculous and so exhausting and so circular that you seriously just want to scream at everyone and say "You're all awful! Just shut up! Especially you Tre!"  Well, I must have been extra bored today because I read both Teresa and Jacqeuline's new posts re: last night's episode.  Again, don't expect a recap here.

The point I REALLY want to make is that the writing in Teresa's blog is clear, articulate - dare I say, polished even?  The construction, the points and counterpoints, the rationale - it's gorgeous.  No misspelled words, no misquoting famous sayings, nothing.  Now, anyone familiar with Teresa in the "real life" of reality TV is aware that she can barely put a proper sentence together.  She always pronounces things wrong, she's never gets sayings right - for goodness sake, in last night's episode she said "heckel and jive, when she most likely meant (I've obviously put too much thought into this) Jekyll and Hyde.

It just didn't add up to me - but I kind of rationalized it in my mind.  Some people are just better at the written word than the spoken word.  I've known a lot of such cases.  However, still it stuck in my craw.  In Teresa's case, the difference is a bit too staggering.

Well - apparently I'm not the only one who thinks such profound thoughts.  Just a couple of hours ago, someone Tweeted Jacqueline asking her this exact question - and here's the exchange:

Boom! There you have it, according to Jacqueline!  My guess is Teresa will deny, deny, deny it - but the evidence really does stack up against her.